Tag Archives: NXT

Professional Wrestling, Reviews, The NXT Scouting Report

NXT Scouting Report, 12/11: Sami Zayn Needs A Hug

12/12/2013 Matthew Timmons Leave a comment

While NXT is often the second (and sometimes THE) best show WWE produces, its primary goal is to make future superstars with Raw getting the cream of the crop, SmackDown nabs the leftovers and those who would probably better off staying on NXT than finding themselves on Main Event, or worse, Superstars .

Each week we’ll scout the “minor league” talent in each segment from the hourlong show (AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON HULU, SO WATCH IT) and decide if they’re ready for the big leagues. This week: How much more of the Kassius Ohno farewell tour can we take?

The Ascension vs. Hunico y Camacho – NXT Tag-Team Title Match

The WWE likes to trumpet how interactive the product is, mentioning Facebook likes, app downloads, and unique impressions statistics every chance they get. If you watched any of the WrestleMania 31 press conferences from a few days ago you’d swear the main event was already booked as John Cena vs A Hashtag.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting an interactive experience, if it gives fans more chances to consume, enjoy, and spend money on your product then it’s a success. My problem lies when you use that interactive nature to get lazy with storytelling on screen, and let the extended universe fill in the blanks.

Case in point: The Ascension. I’ve complained for months now that these guys badly need to cut some promos or do something wacky related to their fledging gimmick to make things interesting. Instead, on this week’s NXT, announcer Tom Phillips talks up an article on WWE.com where the team reveals their “power and control over the perception of reality.” I have no idea what the fuck that means, but I like it! Why can’t they just say that on the air? Hardcore fans will surely seek out the article and learn more about these cats, but isn’t the idea to get them over with everyone watching? It’s not so bad on NXT, but the amount that this practice on Raw bums me out.

Okay, on to the match. Nothing terribly great about the action this week, as The Ascension’s title reign hasn’t really produced much excitement beyo-

WAIT I CHANGE MY MIND – LOOK AT THIS PICTURE:

How have I never noticed Viktor’s Danzig tattoo? Must’ve been ‘cause I blacked out during all those Corey Graves rest-hold marathons. I demand they change their entrance music to “Dirty Black Summer” immediately.

This belongs on… Main Event.

Alexander Rusev vs. Kassius Ohno

Instead of trying to type with all the tears hitting my keyboard, I’ll just link to David and Thomas‘ pieces about Ohno and Indie wrestling.

Oh, and I went to Raw on Monday (here’s my live report if you missed it) and Alexander Rusev beat the shit out of Zack Ryder in a dark match before the show. Not necessarily a sign he’ll be up any time soon, but they’re giving him a look. I think he’s ready.

This belongs on… Smackdown!

Bayley and Natalya Backstage Segment

Bayley is cute enough to make me care about Natalya for 30 seconds. Not bad.

This belongs on… Raw.

William Regal/Antonio Cesaro Match Build

This belongs on… Raw.

Summer Rae & Sasha Banks vs. Bayley & Natalya

Crisp, fast, and stiff looking action from all four women made this my favorite match of the show. I really like how fired up and pissed off Bayley was throughout – she’s getting close to being on the Paige/Emma level in the ring – and I like her character even more than those two. Sasha Banks seemingly improves every week – her kicks straight to the gut and “Bankrupt” finisher looked outstanding. Bonus points for when Banks hits the finisher, Bayley’s hair braid went flying off screen – a serendipitous storyline moment for those who pay too much attention. When it’s going right, it’s going right.

If NXT keeps producing superior women’s talent that’s better than anyone on the main roster, we might actually see a Nexus-style invasion to bring them all up at once and wipe out all the dead weight.

This belongs on… Raw.

Leo Kruger Promo

Kruger pitches himself to Zeb Colter for a coveted spot on the Real American Team. There are rumors that Cesaro might turn face because of how over the Cesaro Swing is with the live crowds. Might be a kill two birds with one stone scenario here, where Kruger can take Cesaro’s spot and The Real Americans unorthodox but somehow effective gimmick can continue.

This belongs on… Smackdown!

Mojo Rawley vs. Scott Dawson

I know that wrestling shows need dudes like Scott Dawson. Solid performers than can make guys look credible in the ring and keep the show moving. Not quite a jobber, not a comedy performer, just a good average grappler. Sorta like Curtis Axel or Darren Young do every week on the my t.v. Guys don’t set out to be links in the cog – it just kind of happens. No shame in that, it’s a necessary part of the show.

But instead of Dawson settling for that role now, why not take a chance? This is NXT, where we can get a little nutty with gimmicks and try some shit out. I guess it’s goofy that he has a Frechman for a manager, but that’s not getting him to Raw. If his destiny is a homeless man’s Arn Anderson, I don’t think that’ll fly unless you’ve got the next Ric Flair hiding somewhere. Time to get creative and see if something can spice things up. He’s good enough to at least get a shot.

This week, Dawson was served up to Mojo Rawley and his ass-first offense. Rawley is going to be a huge star with his infectious deadlifts meets Pixie Sticks persona, and his size and speed combo might be the best in WWE next to Big E. Langston (although Bray Wyatt may have something to say about that.) I’m super HYPED (sorry) that these ex-football players and amateur wrestlers have this wonderful developmental system to go through. Getting the time and training to really hone their craft and characters before being tossed onto Raw is already paying off – the aforementioned Langston and Roman Reigns are already capable Hosses after only a year in the bigs. Rawley should be next.

This belongs on… NXT.

Leo Kruger vs. Sami Zayn

Much like Bayley earlier in the show, Sami Zayn wrestled pissed off and he probably lost because of it. Much of the joy we get from watching Zayn in the ring is how much fun he’s having performing for us – it’s obvious he loves to do this for a living. Having him get away from that could be give him character some added depth – as long as it’s actual explained on air via some promos. Since this is NXT, I’m sure we will. I just hope I don’t have to watch it on the app.

This match was a bit shorter than I’d like – of course I’m happy if every Zayn match was ten minutes long, so I’m biased. I’m fine with an encounter between two top stars going short if the ending is something brutal and unexpected for storyline purposes. But in this case I’m not sure Zayn going balls first onto the ring ropes to set up Kruger’s finisher was that. Plus with the unnecessary extra-curricular activities, there could have been two more minutes of match time, which it probably needed. This one felt a little flat too me. I’ve given a Raw worthy rating to every Sami Zayn match so far… but this one didn’t really help either man. So it goes.

This belongs on… Smackdown!

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter@matthewtimmons.

Andy's Angry, Professional Wrestling

Andy’s Angry: Wasted Talent & Musical Chairs

23/11/2013 Andy Leave a comment

There’s a lot to like right now in WWE. It’s not perfect, by any means. There will always be talented and popular guys waiting in the midcard, for a push that never comes.

That said, there seem to be a lot more hits than misses these days. In 2013, Big Show feels hot and fresh. THAT’s telling. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are making the Wyatts look amazing. The Shield is still awesome, while slowly building a handful of storylines. Big E Langston just became a star. The Usos are moving up. Even 3MB have been refreshed.

Like it or not, the midcard hasn’t been so good since the Attitude Era. Same goes for title credibility. Don’t believe me? Go back and listen to the pop when Big E Langston beat Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Title. Go back and listen to the pop when the Rhodes boys beat The Shield for the tag straps. Fast forward to the next US, World, or WWE title change. More of the same.

Then there’s the Divas division.

I don’t know that I’ve ever had less respect for women’s wrestling, or pro wrestling in general, than I did this Monday. AJ Lee versus Vickie Guerrero in a 5 minute segment that was four-and-a-half minutes too long, and a dozen girls playing musical chairs.

MUSICAL CHAIRS. ON LIVE TV. ON A LIVE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING SHOW.

Abysmal. Even JBL spoke up, declaring the segment “the worst thing we’ve ever done.” I’d be hard-pressed to disagree.

Keep in mind, this televised abortion was supposed to convince you to do two things: watch Total Divas, and pay to watch Survivor Series. You know, that’s the show where Natalya, Cameron, Naomi, The Bellas, JoJo and Eva Maria will take on AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Kaitlyn, Rosa, Summer Rae, Aksana and Alicia Fox.

Yes, AJ and Kaitlyn are on the same team. And yes, Eva Maria is wrestling on pay-per-view, despite having wrestled in a grand total of THREE matches. JoJo just had her first match. Rosa Mendez has been around for years and STILL looks totally helpless whenever she gets anywhere near a wrestling ring.

The division is a mess. Only half the women (at best) can wrestle a respectable match. The characters have zero continuity, at least when the women are lucky enough to HAVE characters. With the exception of AJ Lee, the division as a whole is a total channel-changer.

MEANWHILE, IN ORLANDO….

As is mentioned once a week by my fellow Juice Make Sugar fanboys, NXT is probably WWE’s number 2 show. Unintentionally, of course, but it’s fantastic. Hungry young talents. Bold, vibrant characters. Matches that let these young guys and girls show off, and try to make a name for themselves.

All with WWE’s top-of-the-line production.

Watch any episode of NXT on Hulu. In fact, watch every episode of NXT on Hulu. When you do, DON’T skip the women’s match. You’d regret it—because of both the action, and the characters.

Emma is money. Dig up her match teaming with Santino against Fandango and Summer Rae. She’s GOLD. When she said that WWE stands for “World Wrestling Emmatainment,” I was sold. I need this girl on my TV, and so do you.

Summer Rae is everything Kelly Kelly should have been. Beautiful, talented, and charismatic as hell. JBL calls her Mrs. Fandango, but I call her the future Mrs. Angry Andy.

Bayley is fun. To put it simply, she’s a female fan-boy. Oh, and she can SELL. Most of the main-roster divas don’t know what that means.

Paige can be a star.

Sasha Banks is a great Layla to Summer’s Michelle McCool. Needs work in the ring, but there’s potential.

Charlotte is still new, but she’s already showing some serious athletic potential, and glimpses of her dad’s natural charisma. She’s already better than her brother, David Flair could have ever dreamt to be.

Not to mention the woman training these future divas, Sara Del Rey, is a world-class wrestler in her own right.

There is incredible talent on the roster, it’s just not being utilized. And that begs one very serious question.

If this kind of talent exists, and is just waiting to be used, why does WWE give us MUSICAL CHAIRS instead?

The short answer isn’t very satisfying, but it is pretty simple. WWE doesn’t care about good wrestling, at least when it comes to the girls. WWE cares about marketing and making money. For whatever reason, Vince & Co think that a bunch of untalented women playing musical chairs is best for business. It doesn’t matter where you see talent. All that matters is where Vince and Co. see dollar signs.

So how do we get good quality women’s wrestling, without sacrificing production quality?

Number one, watch on Hulu. Make your friends watch, too. Rewatch good episodes. Show WWE that there is a market for this brand of wrestling. Without an audience, and a way to monetize the product, there’s no reason to build it any bigger than it is now.

Number two, Tweet. Tweet a lot. WWE cares about social media more than it should. It judges its TV shows not by Nielsen ratings, but by social media scores. Tweet Emma, or Paige, or Bayley, or Summer. Don’t be creepy, but show your support, and let it be known that you want what these girls have to offer. In WWE, trending is profit. Use it to your advantage.

Fight for the brand of wrestling you actually want to watch. It got us CM Punk and Daniel Bryan in the main event. It got us Antonio Cesaro. Pretty soon, it will get us guys like Adrian Neville, Sami Zayn and Solomon Crowe. The same strategy could bring us Emma, Paige and Bayley.

Unless, of course, you’d prefer musical chairs to talented women wrestling. If the most mediocre of women’s wrestlers failing to improve is your thing, enjoy Raw.

I’ll hold out hope for the future…. But I won’t hold my breath.

@AndyMillerJMS

Professional Wrestling, The NXT Scouting Report

NXT Scouting Report, 11/20: Everybody Gets A Cookie!

21/11/2013 Matthew Timmons Leave a comment

While NXT is often the second (and sometimes THE) best show WWE produces, its primary goal is to make future superstars with Raw getting the cream of the crop, SmackDown nabs the leftovers and those who would probably better off staying on NXT than finding themselves on Main Event, or worse, Superstars .

Each week we’ll scout the “minor league” talent in each segment from the hourlong show (AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON HULU, SO WATCH IT) and decide if they’re ready for the big leagues. This week: Can a beat-the-clock challenge help our burgeoning sports-entertainers shine?

Bo Dallas Homecoming

The most interesting thing to watch as Bo Dallas evolves his character over the coming months is how he handles increasingly hostile crowd. Oblivious Bo is funny, but at some point he needs to learn how to keep that gee-golly shitbird smile going while acknowledging the crowd when they’re ignoring a wordy segment like this week’s slide show. It’s easy when it’s some simple Boo-Urns stuff he can shrug off, but he had to work to get through all his material here. Nothing to worry about necessarily, just something to watch for going forward. Oh, and the two best Dallas lines this week: “There I sports entertained…” and “Did you come here for a cookie?” Oh, and it was nice of Olive Oil to let Bo borrow her shirt.

Overall this was a slam-dunk segment surrounding the championship, it makes the version on Raw seem unnecessarily complicated by comparison. Bo Dallas is the face of NXT, but the fans love Sami Zayn, and Sami wants to title. So JBL’s going to make him work to get there without sacrificing the integrity of the federation. So a beat-the-clock challenge is created to give the rest of the roster a fair shake and not just hand another shot to Zayn. SIDE NOTE: The beat-the-clock challenge is a pretty stupid way to determine a #1 contender because it really doesn’t prove any sort of higher skill level. But it squeezes several matches into one show while simultaneously giving each match urgency, direction and purpose. Tournaments are always preferable, but with NXT’s one hour running time, the story needs to move a bit quicker.

One other big positive form this segment: Zayn came across as a tough babyface without being a dick – “cheeseball” is a great way to get at Dallas without calling him something misogynistic. Hope that character thread continues.

This Belongs on … Raw

Big Cass vs. Alexander Rusev

Even if I’m going to give a beat-the-clock challenge a pass overall, I still need to criticize the wrestlers when they completely ignore logic trying to win the stipulation. Maybe somebody translated the rules into Bulgarian using Google Translate, but what the fuck was Rusev looking at the clock for!?! This was the very first match of the challenge! He had no time to beat! Come on!

Other than that bit of ridiculousness, this was a fine match that made both guys look pretty good. Rusev got to beat up a legit 7-foot dude, and Big Cass got some babyface props for his fighting spirit. His breaking out of Rusev’s first attempt at the Camel Clutch was great, actually looking like a someone ripping and clawing to break a hold. So many times it looks like the guy applying the hold just kind of quits or forgets they are in a wrestling match.

This Belongs On … NXT

Adrian Neville Interview

I’d normally hate to celebrate a concussion of a sports entertainer. But in this case…

THANK YOU NEV-ILLE! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP. THANK YOU NEV-ILLE! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP.

This Belongs On … SmackDown

Bayley Interview

The variety of female characters that grace NXT is outstanding. And I’d be hard pressed to choose anyone over Bayley as my favorite right now. How can you not love this girl? There is some serious babyface sympathy here, but without her seeming weak or helpless. Outstanding.

This Belongs On … Raw

Tyler Breeze vs. Kassius Ohno

Oh god, no one told me Ohno would still be on these episodes. Does this mean we have to sit through four weeks of Ohno matches and promos knowing his fate? Oy vey. Ohno wasn’t a personal favorite of mine, but I know how much he meant to a lot of independent wrestling fans, and I always appreciated his cerebral, big strike wrestling style. It was on full display here as Ohno only went for quick pins. You know, to try and actually wrestle to the stipulation. Not surprising he’d be one of the only guys who understood the rules and wrestled accordingly.

On the plus side, it was nice to see Breeze straight-up dominate most of this match despite the loss. He looked quick, aggressive, and — despite the goofy section with Ohno lying outside and the count-out possibility ignored – focused. Getting in the ring with some one of Ohno’s caliber showed a bit more of Breeze’s in-ring knowledge and timing. The finale of the match, with reversal after reversal, flowed well and improved Breeze all-around stock even more.

This Belongs On … SmackDown

Hunico/Camacho vs. Jobby Jobbers

This Belongs On … Superstars

Kassius Ohno Interview

Aiden English vs. Adrian Neville

Okay, so now as the beat-the-clock challenge progresses, I’m starting to even 2nd guess my self whether it has any merit at all. This might just be me whining because it makes my job scouting a bit tougher, but these matches become breakneck and jittery so quick, characterization is mostly lost – and evaluating character is half of my job. Although one could say English’s attempt at a high risk maneuver at the top rope with under 30 seconds shows off his characters lack of ring awareness, we’d have to penalize just about every participant for pulling bonehead shit like that.

But, this match was still strong – both men looked spry and game, with Neville looking especially crisp after wrestling with a “knee injury” the past couple of weeks. Still not sure what kind of character Neville will go with when he finally gets called up – if he wants to stand out past guys like Tyson Kidd or Justin Gabriel he’ll need something more than high-flying skills and an accent. Hasn’t worked for those guys.

This Belongs on … SmackDown

Leo Kruger vs. Sami Zayn

Did you see that thumbs up Zayn gave the tie-tied little girl in the front row during his entrance? What a great guy, that Sami Zayn. Can’t find a more naturally like-able wrestler going. I was hoping that we’d get Sami on the big stage around this time, as maybe a surprise Survivor Series participant or teaming up with Punk/Bryan against the Wyatts, but as long as we get solid matches each week on NXT out of him, I can be a patient fan.

We’ve seen these two do battle a few times already, and as Alex Riley pointed out (somehow without mentioning The Miz!) their contrast in styles is a pleasing experience. I had been spoiled that Neville vs. Zayn was happening soon, so I saw the beat-the-clock challenge tie coming a mile away. But seeing the timing and skill it takes to pull of getting that spot juuuuust right was awesome. Kudos to Kruger, Zayn, and ref dude for pulling it off.

Also, big ups for Bo Dallas changing into his trunks to watch this match. Always gotta be ready for a fight.

This Belongs On … Raw

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter @matthewtimmons.

Reviews, The NXT Scouting Report

NXT Scouting Report 11/7: The Unwashed Mass Cometh

08/11/2013 Matthew Timmons Leave a comment

NXT is often the second (and sometimes THE) best show WWE produces. But its primary goal is to make future superstars who will one day grace our televisions on Raw. Each week we’ll scout the “minor league” talent in each segment and decide if they’re ready for the big leagues. This week: Can Kassius Ohno get some sweet Wyatt Family revenge?

Alexander Rusev vs. Sylvester LeFort

A quick squash match to end Alexander Rusev and Sylvester LeFort’s tenuous business relationships. They’ve decided that a hot Russian(?) blonde is a better choice for Rusev’s ascent to the top of NXT, but I’m not sure if that’s the best choice. Aligning the Bulgarian bruiser with a Eastern Bloc accent in high heels fits his surface0level character, but I quite enjoy the sheer goofiness of LeFort’s performance. Him trying to buy off both the ref and Rusev highlight his clear monetary pro wrestling intentions, which works for me. Sometimes the simple story is the best, and LeFort backing Rusev because he’s a beast and will make him cash money works despite the oddness of the character pairing.

Now, as I said last week, an attractive blonde woman never hurt anyone’s standing, but I have a feeling it’s to play up the Bulgarian angle and cater to the more xenophobic wresting fans. If it moves Rusev’s character emphasis from shoot-fighter with an unorthodox style to a cliche ’80’s foreigner then it’s a missed opportunity. It’s hampered Del Rio on the main roster, and the E should avoid making the same mistake again. Rusev’s skill and athleticism will get him far, but I’d love to see a neat, nuanced character develop to go with it. We shall see.

Verdict: Main Event worthy

Bayley/Charlotte & Summer Rae/Sasha Banks Segment

The Mean Girls successfully drove a wedge between Paige and Emma, and now they’re going after Bailey and Charlotte. Nobody’s winning an Academy Award for this segment, but NXT’s dedication to putting the time in for these feuds makes the subsequent matches a lot richer, and they’re doing it in only one hour! Later in the show we got a quick backstage confrontation between Emma and Paige, so all six of our main female wrestlers got air time on tonight’s show. A combined Raw + Smackdown is five entire hours per week, but only about 10 minutes are dedicated to women’s action, and rarely any of it story. When these ladies all find their way up, that has to change.

Verdict: Raw worthy

Leo Kruger vs. El Local

A short, effective outing for Kruger as he got in all his offense against his plump luchador opponent. After a couple of high profile matches with Sami Zayn and Antonio Cesaro, this was sold as the return of a refocused and game Kruger to establish dominance in the ring. All his moves looked crisp and strong, and our announcing team did a nice job of selling Kruger as a force going forward. His snap suplex into a double hook submission was killer – I’m a sucker for anybody chaining moves together and not preening in-between (all character-based of course, Breeze can preen all he wants.) If Kruger can pair tight technical wrestling with his crazy-eyed hunter gimmick, cable television is right around the corner.

Verdict: Smackdown worthy

The Ascension vs. These Guys

Another squash match from our tag-team champs? I guess there aren’t any babyface tag teams to challenge for the belts, so we are stuck running in place with The Ascension for now. How about letting them cut some weirdo promo after the victory about ancient bullshit and mystic power? Give me a reason to boo these dudes. We don’t know anything about them, and I’d like to hear what they have to say. Time to make sense of this gimmick and see if its got wings. Also, if you’re going to do sweet tandem finishing moves, it’s best to remember which one of you is the legal man and needs to wrap up the three-count. Oof.

Verdict: Superstars worthy

Mojo Rawley vs. Some Dude

I really like how they’ve worked Mojo so far. Instead of presenting him as a jobber killer in his first couple matches, they’ve let him get hit in the mouth a few times and actually have to sweat a bit to win his matches. Portraying him as raw and unpolished, and letting him work with some of that sweet, sweet babyface comeback heat is a great idea, and an underused tactic for new dudes. The guy is a lovable ball of pure unbridled athletic energy, and it’s going to get him into trouble in the ring occasionally. NXT’s ability to tell coherent and character building stories inside the ring is spot on.

Verdict: Main Event worthy

Kassius Ohno vs. Luke Harper

Goddamn Luke Harper is fucking great. Fantastic synergy by the WWE – he gets another showcase solo match in NXT the same week he hung with CM Punk on Raw (losing in a roll-up after missing with his brutal lariat) and gets da gawd Daniel Bryan on Smackdown this Friday. No surprise for those familiar with the former Brodie Lee, but after this week I wonder if his standing (at least with the non-NXT watching WWE fans) will exceed that of his leader Bray Wyatt.

Harper looked fantastic tangling with the agile Ohno, a perfect match to his “farm boy” strength, as Renee Young put it. Harper’s animal-like ring psychology was on full display here, and he’s slowly proving that he’s not just going to be an empty wife-beater with a meathook. The gator-rolls, the taunting with his dead eyes before a devastating big-boot, and his stiff-looking style makes him a naturally brutal big man that works so well with underdog super-sellers like Ohno. His match with Bryan on Smackdown will be a must watch. Side note: Alex Riley seemed a tad preoccupied with Harper’s hygiene and showering habits, but it did give me the inspiration for a killer nickname for him, The Unwashed Mass.

And speaking of Ohno, any fans who were worried about his standing – despite losing again to Harper – should pay close attention to the commentary team. They not only mentioned his physique looking more impressive than usual, but they reinforced many of Ohno’s character traits like his striking ability and home-run in-ring style, which Ohno obliged by hitting a vicious rolling elbow that almost secured the victory. If they’re putting in the effort to sell him to the NXT audience, that can only mean good things going forward.

Also, play-by-play man Tom Phillips even referenced Ohno’s past run-ins with Punk, Rollins, Bryan and Cesaro. I’m not saying it guarantees an Ohno call up as Punk/Bryan’s third man in their burgeoning Wyatt Family feud, but holy shit it’s never going to be easier to get him to the main roster storyline-wise. Regardless the fact the seeds were planted mixing Ohno in with established stars is a good sign. Make it happen, Triple H!

Verdict: Raw worthy

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter @matthewtimmons.

Professional Wrestling, Reviews, The NXT Scouting Report

NXT Scouting Report 10/31: Shooting the Breeze One More Time

01/11/2013 Matthew Timmons 1 Comment

Enzo Amore & Cass Cassidy vs. Alexander Rusev & Sylvester LeFort

The entire purpose of this tag-matchup was to further Alexander Rusev progress as the big hoss of NXT, and on that level it worked just fine. After last week’s vicious destruction of the walking hacky-sack, I figured Rusev’s was moving to bigger and better things. Hanging out with Scott Dawson’s white trash ass wasn’t doing anything for him, and rarely has a hot mysterious blonde not improved a man’s situation. All good developments from a talent that just needs some seasoning before he’s ready for big things. The execution on his “turn” on LeFort was a bit sloppy jalopy, it would have been more effective if he’d attacked Dawson (who was no where to be found without explanation from the booth.) But we got the point – Rusev is a giant slab of hurt-the-fuck-outta-you, and NXT is on notice.

I was a bit disappointed when play-by-play man Byron Saxton asked Renee and Regal if they’d ever seen a big man as athletic as Rusev and somehow they blanked on FORMER NXT CHAMP and all around wrestling god Big E. Langston. Just thinking about those two facing off gives me the biggest fucking grin. Big dudes who can move are the best, and that match-up would be off the charts.

And despite practically jobbing in this situation, Enzo and Cass still got their full intro, which is a good sign. It’s by far the best thing about them, and as long as the wrestling is passable they’ll be stars. Being “fun” heels as a tag-team is an important part of a three-hour TV show, as 3MB has proved time and time again. And these guys are even more fun, and the gimmick makes more sense. SAWFT would be over in one segment. Whenever you’re ready WWE.

Verdict: Smackdown worthy

Aiden English vs. Jason Jordan

Well, at least this week’s Aiden English squash match with his opponent actually named check by the commentary team. He even got trunks with his name on the ass! Still, same bit we’ve seen three or four times from the resident artist of NXT. Outside of a not-so-hot encounter with RVD a couple of weeks back, this was stock stuff. Time for a proper feud to see if his “method” will work with a real NXT competition. Also: I really wish on Raw JBL would sell guys as much as Regal does here. His enthusiasm for English was infectious.

Verdict: Superstars worthy

Adrian Neville Interview

Poor Adrain Neville having to explain his beef with Corey Graves. Get this man somebody not awful to wrestle and maybe we’d get some fire and conviction in his promos. You can tell Neville knows outside of injuring Graves into an early retirement he gets nothing from this feud. When’s his old tag-team partner coming back?

Verdict: Superstars worthy

Paige vs. Summer Rae (non-title match)

It’s fun to see Summer Rae compete in the minor leagues during a breakout week for her in WWE. She scored the pin in a mixed-tag match at Hell in a Cell and looked great in her solo Raw debut despite losing to Natalya. Anyone that watches NXT knows how much better the women’s wrestling is, something I’ve harped on in the column to the point of exhaustion. But it’s even more apparent after watching Summer stretch those legs against some of the stale WWE competition and come back and square off against women more her speed.

The match itself was just ok – we’ve seen this tilt before several times. The real progression here was the further set-up of a Mega-Powers style clash between Paige and Emma down the road, as this was the 2nd straight week Emma’s accidentally knocked Paige around. Best vs. the best is always welcome, and if they can do it without turning either wrestler heel and stay true to character arcs it should be a fantastic set of matches. Their NXT championship match in July was awesome, and with a little more heat in the feud it could be even better. I know a lot of people are clamoring for these ladies to make their Raw debuts, but I think it would be smart to wait until the Total Divas clout runs out completely so they don’t have to get pinned by Eva Marie on some random Smackdown.

Verdict: Smackdown worthy

Luke Harper Vignette

Luke Harper getting a singles spotlight run in NXT is a fantastic idea. The man is prepped to tangle with Punk and Bryan on the big stage soon, so his stock is going to skyrocket in the next coming weeks. Getting some work in with skilled Kassius Ohno without the looming presence of Bray Wyatt should help us get to know his individual character even more. Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya.

Verdict: Raw worthy

Tyler Breeze vs. CJ Parker (Part 1000)

Okay, so maybe it hasn’t been that many times, but it sure feels like it. When these two first tangled back in July, I was worried their gimmicks were a little to perfect for each other, and finding follow-up feuds might be difficult. Which seems to be the case so far. This is a slight guess, but the reason we keep getting these matches is the crowd response is exactly the opposite of the normal heel-face dynamic, and NXT hasn’t adjusted and keeps trying for the result they want.

Normally the blow-off match of a feud features our hero finally vanquishing their foe and standing tall in the center of the ring. But for some odd reason despite the crowd loving every move Breeze makes in the ring, and booing the shit outta Parker, they still book this like Parker was the normal crowd favorite. So even though the “face” got sweet revenge on the heel, this feels oddly empty without Breeze getting his deserved clean victory.

One nice thing we did see was a full display of Breeze’s aggressive offensive in the second half of the match. He laid out Parker with some vicious knee drops to the face, mixed in some submission maneuvers, and overall put together his best offensive sequence since debuting in NXT. I surprised it didn’t lead to a win – but as strange a booking decision this was, Breeze is still the clear star out of these two. Time for him to move along.

Oh, and one more quick quibble: “Shooting the Breeze” is not a catch-phrase Breeze should use for himself. Just saying.

Verdict: Main Event worthy

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter @matthewtimmons.

Professional Wrestling, The NXT Scouting Report

NXT Scouting Report, 10/16: “Live” with Regal and Renee

17/10/2013 Nick Bond Leave a comment

The Ascension vs. Adrian Neville/Corey Graves

I may like Ascension more than Matthew does — which is to say “at all” — but I definitely hate Corey Graves more than anyone else I’ve ever met. I mean that both in the sense that I hate Corey Graves’s character the most out of anyone on the roster and that no one I know hates him more. Dude punches like an idiot, wrestles like he’s in his first ROH match, but looks like an Abercrombie model, so they’ve made him the male equivalent of Eva Marie.

This match, is however, greatly enhanced by the work of everyone else involved in the match, including the lovely William Regal and charming Renee Young on commentary. That this will also lead to a feud where Adrian Neville goes over Corey Graves is nice. But, the fact that they got there by Graves having to RUN OFF THE ROPES AND INTO NEVILLE AFTER STANDING NEXT TO HIM is the type of stuff that gives me the howling fantods.

Graves: CZW-worthy Ascension: NXT-worthy Neville: Main Event-worthy | Segment: NXT worthy

Tyler Breeze vs. CJ Parker

In case you didn’t know by reading previous reviews, or the headline of this article, or having watching Tyler Breeze work, literally anything he does is worthy of being on the main roster. He is an entirely formed character, while also being a highly enjoyable worker who, as Stroud says “wrestles to character” near perfectly. He is what would happen if Zoolander was a professional wrestler and I am more than happy to watch him beat up uggos like Parker. I’m also pretty sure I would PAY to see him beat up uggos on Raw instead of the Kofi Kingston

And because God (JBL?) loves us, Regal and Young on commentary — even (or maybe especially) when they are (cordially) disagreeing — is as good as any pairing in sports. They helped establish both the silly — Renee selling that the feud is legitimately escalating because Parker stole Breeze’s phone — and the essential — how good of a heel Breeze is — without making it seem like they are trying to “stay on message” the way that Cole/Matthews have a tendency to slip into during matches.

CJ Parker may never amount to much, but this feud is definitely as good as anything Fandango has done and Tyler Breeze is a bonafide star.

CJ Parker: TNA-worthy Tyler Breeze: PPV-worthy | Segment: Smackdown!-Worthy

Paige/Emma vs. Summer Rae/Sasha Banks

If you are judging this match/show solely relative to its main roster equivalent, this is the main event of WrestleMania compared to what happened last week on Raw. Relative to the rest of the show it’s on, it was unequivocally the best single-gender tag team match since the Ascension became champions.

Sasha has potential despite how green she is, especially if she stops shutting off the part of her brain that allows her to react normally to things, but she’s definitely on her way. Emma and Paige are, oddly, too good to be on the main roster right now. When they make it to The Show, they should be able to pick up a badly sagging Diva’s division nearly by themselves.

The commentary on this match was a little more disjointed as the Dynamic Duo ended up ribbing the Dawson brother that still works in the E for most of the time. However, Renee Young is a wonderful change of pace from the sludge that we have to sit through during most Diva’s matches, offering actual insight into what the company is trying to articulate with these feuds from a woman’s perspective.

Please allow her to commentate at least during women’s matches (though it should be all), WWE. Please?

Emma, Paige, Summer: Raw-worthy, Sasha: Main Event worthy | Segment: “Better-than-Raw” worthy

Sami Zyan vs. NXT Champion Bo Dallas for the NXT Championship

When reviewing a situation like NXT, it’s important to look at what will “translate to the next level” and make them stars. However, unlike let’s say, the NFL Combine, NXT allows us to evaluate the performances while “live ammo” is firing. We get to see how the nascent stages of their overall “brand” work, and whether or not it will lead to success at “the next level”.

With the changing of what allows for success at that level in the WWE, from “being big while also able to walk and chew gum at the same time” to “be entertaining”, it means that guys like Sami Zyan and Bo Dallas have potential to be huge stars in years to come. While Zyan is far ahead of Bo in the ring, the way Bo carries himself as a performer is something you “can’t teach”. It’s something you’re born into, and if the work of his brother (Windham Rotunda AKA Bray Wyatt) or his promos are any indication, Bo’s understanding of the subtleties of what makes a performance work is at least at the level of Zyan’s.

This match did, however, have some problems in the booth, with the remaining Dawson brother unable to call a single move properly, much to the exasperation of Regal. A particular lowlight was calling a German suplex a “backdrop”, instead of saying, I don’t know “suplex”, “throw” or even “what a manuever!”. Not saying the “right” name is fine, but actively saying the wrong name for such a well-known move is gross, especially when the pace is as slow as it was at that point during the match.

And Renee Young was engaging, but rooted a *little bit* too hard for Sami. If that’s something they end up building on, I’m more than okay with it, but it kind of made you feel bad for Bo, which is something no one should feel. Ever.

The ending, while well-thought out, suffered from the one major issue with NXT: the camera work. They only really got a shot of the ref taking away the turnbuckle, and while it was supposed to be a surprise on some level, it ended up looking like a botch to the crowd in attendance, and even people who saw Zyan hit his head on the exposed turnbuckle.

All-in-all, though, it proved what everyone already knew — this is going to be a fantastic rivalry between two guys who are just on the brink of being stars in The Show.

Dallas and Zyan: Raw Worthy | Segment: PPV mid-card belt worthy

Professional Wrestling, Reviews, The NXT Scouting Report

NXT Scouting Report 10/2: It’s BO Time!

03/10/2013 Matthew Timmons Leave a comment

NXT is often the second (and sometimes THE) best show WWE produces. But its primary goal is to make future superstars who will one day grace our televisions on Raw. Each week we’ll scout the “minor league” talent in each segment and decide if they’re ready for the big leagues. This week: Who will enter the first ever Bo Dallas Invitational?

Fandango & Summer Rae vs. Santino & Emma

One thing that really bummed me out about the final episodes of Breaking Bad was all the chatter about “good fans” and “watching the show the right way.” Anytime anyone tries to tell fans how they should enjoy or perceive any kind of art is just plain wrong and reeks of elitism. There’s no right or wrong way to enjoy or despise any kind of consumable product. That of course goes for wrestling as well, and maybe it’s even more crucial when storylines and characters can become so divisive.

So when I say I feel bad for people that don’t enjoy matches like this one, I don’t mean it in any sort of “you’re watching wrestling wrong” kind of way. If one wants all hardcore ECW matches because that’s what they like about the medium, then more power to ’em. There’s enough variety that something should work for just about everyone.

I feel bad because it’s so much fun, and I want everyone to enjoy this as much as I do. Good lord was this segment magical and I’m still smiling just thinking about it. Santino and Emma combining their entrances, the tag in hi-five gaffes, and all the ridiculous Cobra swapping was as fun as anything I’ve seen in NXT. They had great natural chemistry together and I’ll be sad every time Santino pops up on Raw without Emma close behind. A big reason why this worked is they let the segment breathe – on Raw this would have been three minutes and each spot rushed through. Also huge props to Fandango for his amazing sell of the Cobra Strike – I think his gum flew about 50 ft in the air.

Verdict: Raw worthy.

Ascension Promo

Okay, I know this was just a quick promo to give The Ascension some sinister vibes heading into their huge tag-team championship matchup, but I got ask: where is this “home” O’Brian and Victor grunt about? Is it some sort of alternate time or dimension? What are these dudes? Are they futuristic? Ancient? Highlander dudes without sweet swords? Until they get some direction beyond mysterious and growly, the main roster has no place for these weirdos. I’d also recommend canning the “hero” talk – too close to the Wyatt Family and Shield action plans. Get a distinct agenda and maybe we’ll talk.

Verdict: TNA worthy.

Kassius Ohno vs. Luke Harper

Promised myself this wouldn’t be a breakdown of the returning Kassius Ohno’s physique because I try my damnedest to stay away from the dirt sheets. But Ohno’s extended absence probably has roots in some sort of backstage shenanigans, considering he was gone for “four months” with no reported injury – so I can’t help but let it color my thinking heading into this matchup. Quick take: he looks fine, so hopefully if that was a problem it’s in the past. Now, as far as Ohno’s journey to the main roster, not sure what this match tells us. Luke Harper dominated the proceedings, which he should have as a conquering beast returning to NXT.

I was surprised, however, by the shortness, and — outside of a few flurries — how little Ohno got to do. For his big return to the ring, Ohno not only didn’t get to win, he didn’t even get something akin to Sami Zayn’s matches with Cesaro/Swagger – a loss that feels like a win because of the awesome. This didn’t feel like a new chapter in a storied rivalry – no after match kerfuffles to keep the narrative going – just a decisive, impressive victory for Harper. I don’t think this means that ‘management’ is still down on Ohno. There is no reason to bring him back if they didn’t think he had it. My guess is this was a way to ease him back into action, give him some frustrating losses, and push forward a storyline where Ohno can turn heel again and start an epic feud with Zayn.

Verdict: Smackdown! worthy.

Enzo Amore y Big Cass Promo

Just do yourself a favor and watch it, it’s pure gold.

TROAT. BIG MUSH. NO SHOES. SAWWWWWFT TACOS.

Verdict: Raw worthy.

Mojo Rawley Vignette

Ummmm… So this cat’s entire gimmick is he’s super hyped all day every day? I have no idea if this could work, but if we can somehow get a recreation of this scene with Rawley and Enzo Amore I’ll be a happy camper.

Verdict: Superstars worthy.

The Ascension vs. Corey Graves & Adrian Neville

I’m not into three out of four wrestlers involved in this match, and I’m afraid it’s leading me to incorrectly evaluate Adrian Neville. I get so jazzed when gets the hot tag I’m not sure if it’s because he’s performing great or I’m shell-shocked after another installment Rick Victor/Corey Graves rest-hold theatre.

In my notes it says that this was the best I’ve seen Neville since he’s teamed up with Hot Topic. His hot-tag offense late in the match was glorious, dare I say even D. Bry-eque. He mixed even more back-flip evasive maneuvers, and his offense seemed crisper, quicker, and a bit stronger. Hopefully this improvement wasn’t comparison camouflage and Neville is ready to fly high on Raw.

Putting the tag-team titles on The Ascension means somebody in NXT-land thinks these guys are ready to rule over Orlando. This is not necessarily a bad thing, regardless of how I feel. I’m reviewing based on what I think will play on Raw or Smackdown – and clearly I don’t think this team is ready. But I am interested in seeing what they can do now that they’re clearly positioned as the big bads of NXT. Hopefully that’ll jump start some interesting character development from these guys that makes them work.

Corey Graves still sucks.

Verdict: NXT worthy.

The Bo Dallas Invitational

In the normal heel handbook, this type of segment usually consists of the conceited bad guy cutting a promo about how unstoppable he’s become and there’s no one in the locker room that measures up. It’s a classic trope and works well to incite some serious babyface heat for anyone who takes on the challenge.

This could have been the moment this iteration of Bo Dallas’ amazing character starting slipping into traditional heel type stuff, but once again Dallas pulled off an amazing performance, twisting this segment into something that let him shine in his oblivious dick role. His genuine excitement giving some fresh-faced scrub a shot at the champ was adorable, and I loved how he showed concern for his random jobber opponent after the match. He could have easily acted cruel and dismissive, but he stayed true to the narrative and I love him for it. Almost as much as I loved his bizarre line-reading of “NXT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!” I have no clue what that was all about, but it made me laugh every time he did it.

The Leo Kruger and Antonio Cesaro part was clearly done just to set up a match/feud with each other, and it’s a great idea. Cesaro is a de facto wrestling instructor out there – clearly WWE brass like him in NXT for his ability to generate great matches out of anyone. Kruger intrigues me, I like his overall vibe but I’m not super sold on his ring work just yet. A few matches with Cesaro should tell us a lot.

Okay, I know I’m burying the lede with this almost-El Generico business at the end of The Bo Dallas Invitational, but I wasn’t ready to talk about it until now. This is something I knew WWE would always have in their back pocket, but deploying it so half-assed I’m just kinda stumped why they bothered. Storyline wise it makes sense, as Dallas decreed that Zayn was banned from his Invitational despite being a strong contender for the NXT championship. Zayn needed a way in, and donning a mask is a great tradition in wrestling when you need to get around the rules.

But with so much weight behind this particular wrestler wearing a mask, it just left me emotionally bent. I’m sure the fans who know nothing of Generico enjoyed the segment, but I can’t help but wonder if they blew a real opportunity to resurrect the legend of The Generic One down the road. Overall the segment was awesome and Zayn played it great, so I’m not going to downgrade it just because I couldn’t help but engage in some fantasy booking.

Verdict: Raw worthy.

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter @matthewtimmons.

Difference of Opinion, Professional Wrestling, Wrestler of the Week

#WilliamRegalWeek: Difference of Opinion

20/09/2013 The Good Folks at Juice Make Sugar Wrestling 4 Comments

It’s the Final Day of #WilliamRegalWeek, a celebration of all things Made in England and the third installment of our (patent-pending) Juice Make Sugar Wrestler of the Week series. We started with A Wrestler You Should Probably Know Better, and given you the finer points of the Lord Steven oeuvre with some Essential Viewing. We marched through Hump Day with a GIF parade and made our Amazon.com-on-steroids dreams come true yesterday with “Juice Make Sugar Recommends…“ Now, we finish everything off with a Difference of Opinion (where JMS HQ erupts in a tea-fueled civil war.)

Nick: I think we can both agree that William Regal is, well, great. Easily the best guy we’ve covered so far.

Dave: Oh, definitely. He has an actual, palpable legacy in the wrestling world.

Nick: He may have matched him crazy promo for crazy promo, but in the ring Ahmed was, uh, well Ahmed. And while Cesaro has the potential to be at least at his level (if not a little better, which is crazy) in the ring, it’s hard to imagine that Antonio will ever be the character Lord Steven is.

Dave: Yeah. Character-wise, Regal has been better established and developed than almost any non-main event star ever.

Nick: Wasn’t he — when he was King of the WWE and GM of Raw — in the main event, though?

Dave: He was knocking on the door, but we’ll never know. I think he would have had a short run in the upper echelon, just to get knocked down by John Cena (or the like). The “turning off the lights” thing was very main event, though. Some of the Triple H COO stuff is reminiscent of that era

Nick: Are you surprised they aren’t using him as some sort of heel authority figure on Raw or even Smackdown?

Dave: Surprised? Not really. They already have at least five too many authority figures. I enjoy his work, so I wish we saw more of him on the big shows, but he’s still a huge contributor to what we will be seeing soon thanks to his role on NXT.

Nick: Is that going to be his legacy, ultimately? Training Punk and Bryan? You know, like how Killer Kowalski’s legacy is now in large part as Triple H’s trainer.

Dave: His legacy stands on its own two feet without bringing in other wrestlers, but people who actually care about the history of the wrestling business will remember him as a consummate contributor. To other guys’ pushes, to establishing the overall tone of shows, to grooming the future of the business. I’ve heard it said of the Greak Kabuki in World Class that he “set the table, but wasn’t there to eat.” I think the same of Regal.

Nick: I know it’s terrible, but let’s pretend for a second that the Hall of Fame was an objective thing, he’s in, right?

Dave: It’s almost too much of a leap for me to even get to a place where I can envision an objective wrestling Hall of Fame. But if we’re grading on match quality, contributions to historically important things, and “doing the right thing” consistently, he’s in.

Nick: But, with the Hall of Fame more of a “cool kids table” thing?

Dave: Well, it’s an odd collection of cool kids, the guys the cool kids looked up to, and guys who are valuable from a marketing/licensing point of view. So if Punk, Bryan, and that crew ever officially become “the cool kids,” Regal’s in by that standard too. If the cool kids are the people who push Ryback and Brock Lesnar and (ahem) Triple H, I don’t know.

Nick: When do you think we get the Ryback-Regal match where Regal makes him do mat wrestling?

Dave: They would just cut to commercial now, I’m sad to say. But if they were going to do some big worked-shoot mess where they tried to replicate that moment (God, I hope we’re not giving them ideas), it wouldn’t be a sixteenth as effective or important as it was with Goldberg.

Nick: Well, in terms of internet wrestling nerds, that’s one of the true “must see” matches

Dave: Rightly so. In an oxymoronical way, it’s the perfect example of how cooperative wrestling really is.

Nick: It metaphysically explains the line between “work” and “shoot”.

Dave: Those of us who aren’t trained will never understand how a match really works, but that match shows you how it doesn’t.

Nick: Though, on some level, it still does. It’s an enjoyable match.

Dave: Oh my gosh, it’s the best Goldberg match. By a lot. Regal has his fun, but he’s still the heel. He still ultimately sets up Goldberg to look good and go over strong. Which I think was part of his point. Let someone who knows what they’re doing do a real job. Don’t just have them get thrown around by a moron with no grasp on psychology.

Nick: Would Regal have worked during Hogan era WWF?

Dave: Yes. A thousand times yes. Can you imagine him as the third British Bulldog? He could have worked with Davey when Dynamite Kid was in Japan.

Nick: Or deteriorating.

Dave: Yeah. Post Wrestlemania II-bump Dynamite Kid. I think he would have been a huge part of that amazing tag team roster they had. And he could have easily been built up for his turn against Hogan.

Nick: Would he have Goldberg’d Hogan?

Dave: Naw. Hogan played ball in the ring. Hogan may have been a dangerous politician, but he treated people with a lot of respect once they were between the ropes. How many times do you remember seeing Hulk Hogan drop someone on their head?

Nick: Not many, but he was also a wrestler and not a terrible animal. Unless you hit your finisher. He’d no sell the shit out of that.

Dave: Or punch you in the face.

Nick: Speaking of that — the finishers, not the punching — which was better: the Regal Stretch or the Knee Trembler

Dave: The Knee Trembler is more “it can come out of nowhere” main event, but the Regal Stretch is one of my all-time favorites. There’s nothing like a wrestler who the announcers portray as a hooker using a move that looks like a hook. If that’s not over with you, then you don’t actually like wrestling.

Nick: He is a “hooker” in the purest sense: everything he does seem real. That Dean Ambrose match in FCW is ridiculous.

Dave: I remember he main evented (I think) against Randy Orton on a UK edition of Raw, and it was just the most realistic-looking main event match I had seen in years. For me, though, that was almost a weakness in Regal. His in ring work made him look so uncomfortably more talented than the main eventers that they couldn’t book him anywhere near them. He was so good it held him back.

Nick: Is that a lesson that Bryan and Punk learned?

Dave: Definitely Bryan. Look at him now. Kick, kick, surfboard, headbutt, Yes Lock, Flying Knee…. Bryan definitely learned how not to be like Regal.

Nick: He seems to be more HBK than Regal in terms of pacing.

Dave: Oh yeah, he’s exciting. Regal is decidedly un-exciting. It’s part of the lost art of being a heel. “Punch-kick-hold on the mat” has a bad rap with internet smarks, but boy does it put the heat on the babyface.

Nick: How much longer do you think he has wrestling?

Dave: Wrestling as in working matches? I couldn’t say. I think he has one more angle putting over the right guy in him. But I think he’ll be a lifer in terms of contributing to wrestlng.

Dave: So, Nick. You’ve allowed me to wander through a largely tangential discussion of one of my all-time favorite wrestlers, so let me ask you: what does William Regal mean to post-Attitude Era WWE history? He’s been there playing largely the same character since 2000.

Nick: It’s hard to compare wrestling to other sports because it’s so cooperative but Regal is the “Mirror, Mirror” version of Mike D’Antoni. The non-goateed part of that equation, of course.

Dave: The guy that everybody loves until they don’t?

Nick: Well, more accurately, the guy who understood a specific part of the business better than anyone: for D’antoni’s it was offensive spacing and game flow. In Regal’s case, a very specific understanding of the level of realism that got people interested. They both missed out on the other half, though: Lord Steven didn’t realize that people only want a certain level of realism before the returns diminished. With D’antoni, he didn’t realize you have to play a certain amount of defense, like, during practice, for instance.

Dave: That’s a really good point. I’ll say this of Regal, though: if wrestling had playoffs, he’d be more successful than Mike D’Antoni.

Nick: Man, why do you have do Steve Nash like that? Even Dave Taylor feels like that was a low blow.

A Wrestler You Should Probably Know Better, Wrestler of the Week

A Wrestler You Should Probably Know Better: William Regal

16/09/2013 Nick Bond 6 Comments

It’s the First Day of #WilliamRegalWeek, a celebration of all things Made in England and the third installment of our (patent-pending) Juice Make Sugar Wrestler of the Week series. As always we’ll start by making Mr. Regal a Wrestler You (Should) Probably Know Better. Tomorrow, we give you the finer points of the Darren Matthews oeuvre with some Essential Viewing then march through Wednesday with a GIF Parade. After Hump Day we’ll make our Amazon.com-on-steroids dreams come true with “Juice Make Sugar Recommends…” before finishing everything off on Friday with a Difference of Opinion (where JMS HQ erupts in a Knee-Trembler-fueled civil war.)

There was a moment when I thought William Regal might be a World’s Champion someday. It was after winning the King of the Ring tournament while serving as the commissioner of Raw. He’d been on a hot streak, having recently been so infuriated with John Cena that he had (in kayfabe) cut transmission of Raw, and the King of the Ring victory had for the first time in his career given him the in-and-out of the ring gravitas to finally compete for one of the big boy belts.

Then Mr. Kennedy ruined everything. Well, kind of.

It’s not so much that he ruined everything, as his existential suckiness intersected with a nadir in the career of Lord Steven William Regal when, only a week into his reign, Mr. Regal lost a Loser Leaves the WWE match to him. Of course, Regal wasn’t actually fired, but suspended 60 days for his second violation of the E’s then-nascent Wellness Program. Instead of a chance at a main event title match, a puncher’s chance of a (very) short run with the belt and at the very least, a crown, cape and scepter, he was given a two-month unpaid vacation. When he came back, he was no longer a king but a “free agent”, and gone, along with the royal accoutrements, was his massive push.

Regal never winning a top title isn’t a travesty, though, even by kayfabe standards. For that moment, when he was sitting on the throne, he had a chance to be king. When you think about where he came from, it’s remarkable he got there in the first place.

***

The real origin stories of many professional wrestlers – how they got into the business and what they did before – have long been part of the fabric of the medium, and one of the most integral parts of the quasi-reality that wrestling attempts to construct . In the same way that Mick Foley’s jumps off his roof and Dude Love promos articulated a very specific version of his “character”, Regal’s time as a carnival wrestler tells us a great deal both Darren Matthews and how he became Lord William.

The idea of – as a teenager, especially – wrestling grown men for money as part of a travelling show like a reincarnation of the Gold Dust trio was mindboggling when it first started, back before JR’s beloved Oklahoma was a state. The idea that there is someone who got his start in the business that way is still semi-active feels anachronistic, not just for the danger involved, but the level of dedication to the craft of wrestling not just for sport or entertainment, but the preservation of the artform itself.

It helps to explain why he’s accepted the role he has in WWE developmental, too. The love he has for the business informs nearly every aspect of his time in FCW and NXT. How eager he is to talk up performers, his willingness to put over young talent, and especially, the palpable giddiness that comes across his face and voice when he’s particularly tickled by something, speak to a love of what he does that is rare in any walk of life, but especially nice to see in THIS BUSINESS.

That love can be found in his protégé, Daniel Bryan, who has ridden Regal’s signature hard-nosed grappling style (mixed with the acrobatics of his other mentor, Shawn Michaels) to one of the hottest runs of the last decade. That’s right, it’s fairly easy to argue that the resurgence of wrestling (spearheaded by Bryan and CM Punk, another Regal pupil) in the WWE has been a result of the influence of Lord Steven himself.

But Regal has been bucking against the trend of entertainment encroaching on the artistic aspects of the for longer than most people remember, and it’s even cost him work.

***

A lot can be said about Goldberg’s career. Most of it involves underwhelming action buttressed by overwhelming crowd reaction. Although he was pushed to the moon, he was, at best, a middling worker and never really had a *great* (or even particularly good) match during his short run at the top. The matches were “exciting”, inasmuch as they told an overarching story that the crowd enjoyed. But especially during his “streak” his matches left a LOT to be desired, even for squashes.

That was until February of 1998, when in what was supposedly planned to be a squash match, Regal took some, well, liberties. Although he claims that no such thing happened, considering he was let go immediately following the match, it seems much more likely that he forced Goldberg to actually “wrestle” with him, using chain wrestling and no-selling to make him improvise his way into an actually enjoyable match.

So, even if Daniel Bryan’s career stalls out and NXT dissolves, Regal can be known for something no one else will ever be: he made Goldberg watchable.

GIF Parade, Professional Wrestling, Wrestler of the Week

#AntonioCesaroWeek: GIF Parade

11/09/2013 Nick Bond 5 Comments

It’s Day Three of #AntonioCesaroWeek, a celebration of all things Very European/Real American and the second installment of our patent-pending Juice Make Sugar Wrestler of the Week series. We started off with A Wrestler You Should Probably Know Better, before giving you the finer points of the Claudio Castagnoli oeuvre with some Essential Viewing. Today, we mixed it up, starting off with a special appearance by a Relatively Happy Andy and now we march through the end of Hump Day with an GIF parade. Tomorrow we’ll make our Amazon.com-on-steroids dreams come true with “Juice Make Sugar Recommends…,“ before finishing everything off on Friday with a Difference of Opinion (where JMS HQ erupts in a Swiss Miss-fueled civil war.)

There are few performers more GIFable than Cesaro, whose nightly shows of power and athleticism are made for GIFs the way football hits wish they were.

We hinted at this on Monday, when we talked about the faint smell of Swiss Death: