NXT Scouting Report, 12/11: Sami Zayn Needs A Hug

While NXT is often the second (and sometimes THE) best show WWE produces, its primary goal is to make future superstars with Raw getting the cream of the crop, SmackDown nabs the leftovers and those who would probably better off staying on NXT than finding themselves on Main Event, or worse, Superstars .

Each week we’ll scout the “minor league” talent in each segment from the hourlong show (AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON HULU, SO WATCH IT) and decide if they’re ready for the big leagues. This week: How much more of the Kassius Ohno farewell tour can we take? 

The Ascension vs. Hunico y Camacho – NXT Tag-Team Title Match

The WWE likes to trumpet how interactive the product is, mentioning Facebook likes, app downloads, and unique impressions statistics every chance they get. If you watched any of the WrestleMania 31 press conferences from a few days ago you’d swear the main event was already booked as John Cena vs A Hashtag.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting an interactive experience, if it gives fans more chances to consume, enjoy, and spend money on your product then it’s a success.  My problem lies when you use that interactive nature to get lazy with storytelling on screen, and let the extended universe fill in the blanks.

Case in point: The Ascension. I’ve complained for months now that these guys badly need to cut some promos or do something wacky related to their fledging gimmick to make things interesting. Instead, on this week’s NXT, announcer Tom Phillips talks up an article on WWE.com where the team reveals their “power and control over the perception of reality.” I have no idea what the fuck that means, but I like it! Why can’t they just say that on the air? Hardcore fans will surely seek out the article and learn more about these cats, but isn’t the idea to get them over with everyone watching? It’s not so bad on NXT, but the amount that this practice on Raw bums me out.

Okay, on to the match. Nothing terribly great about the action this week, as The Ascension’s title reign hasn’t really produced much excitement beyo-

WAIT I CHANGE MY MIND – LOOK AT THIS PICTURE:

How have I never noticed Viktor’s Danzig tattoo? Must’ve been ‘cause I blacked out during all those Corey Graves rest-hold marathons. I demand they change their entrance music to “Dirty Black Summer” immediately.

This belongs on… Main Event.

Alexander Rusev vs. Kassius Ohno

Instead of trying to type with all the tears hitting my keyboard, I’ll just link to David and Thomas‘ pieces about Ohno and Indie wrestling.

Oh, and I went to Raw on Monday (here’s my live report if you missed it) and Alexander Rusev beat the shit out of Zack Ryder in a dark match before the show. Not necessarily a sign he’ll be up any time soon, but they’re giving him a look. I think he’s ready.

This belongs on… Smackdown!

Bayley and Natalya Backstage Segment

Bayley is cute enough to make me care about Natalya for 30 seconds. Not bad.

This belongs on… Raw.

William Regal/Antonio Cesaro Match Build

This belongs on… Raw.

Summer Rae & Sasha Banks vs. Bayley & Natalya

Crisp, fast, and stiff looking action from all four women made this my favorite match of the show. I really like how fired up and pissed off Bayley was throughout – she’s getting close to being on the Paige/Emma  level in the ring – and I like her character even more than those two. Sasha Banks seemingly improves every week – her kicks straight to the gut and “Bankrupt” finisher looked outstanding. Bonus points for when Banks hits the finisher, Bayley’s hair braid went flying off screen – a serendipitous storyline moment for those who pay too much attention. When it’s going right, it’s going right.

If NXT keeps producing superior women’s talent that’s better than anyone on the main roster,  we might actually see a Nexus-style invasion to bring them all up at once and wipe out all the dead weight.

This belongs on… Raw.

Leo Kruger Promo

Kruger pitches himself to Zeb Colter for a coveted spot on the Real American Team. There are rumors that Cesaro might turn face because of how over the Cesaro Swing is with the live crowds. Might be a kill two birds with one stone scenario here, where Kruger can take Cesaro’s spot and The Real Americans unorthodox but somehow effective gimmick can continue.

This belongs on… Smackdown!

Mojo Rawley vs. Scott Dawson

I know that wrestling shows need dudes like Scott Dawson. Solid performers than can make guys look credible in the ring and keep the show moving. Not quite a jobber, not a comedy performer, just a good average grappler. Sorta like Curtis Axel  or Darren Young do every week on the my t.v. Guys don’t set out to be links in the cog – it just kind of happens. No shame in that, it’s a necessary part of the show.

But instead of Dawson settling for that role now, why not take a chance?  This is NXT, where we can get a little nutty with gimmicks and try some shit out. I guess it’s goofy that he has a Frechman for a manager, but that’s not getting him to Raw. If his destiny is a homeless man’s Arn Anderson, I don’t think that’ll fly unless you’ve got the next Ric Flair hiding somewhere. Time to get creative and see if something can spice things up. He’s good enough to at least get a shot.

This week, Dawson was served up to Mojo Rawley and his ass-first offense. Rawley is going to be a huge star with his infectious deadlifts meets Pixie Sticks persona, and his size and speed combo might be the best in WWE next to Big E. Langston (although Bray Wyatt may have something to say about that.) I’m super HYPED (sorry) that these ex-football players and amateur wrestlers have this wonderful developmental system to go through. Getting the time and training to really hone their craft and characters before being tossed onto Raw is already paying off – the aforementioned Langston and Roman Reigns are already capable Hosses after only a year in the bigs. Rawley should be next.

This belongs on… NXT.

Leo Kruger vs. Sami Zayn

Much like Bayley earlier in the show, Sami Zayn wrestled pissed off and he probably lost because of it. Much of the joy we get from watching Zayn in the ring is how much fun he’s having performing for us – it’s obvious he loves to do this for a living. Having him get away from that could be give him character some added depth – as long as it’s actual explained on air via some promos.  Since this is NXT, I’m sure we will. I just hope I don’t have to watch it on the app.

This match was a bit shorter than I’d like – of course I’m happy if every Zayn match was ten minutes long, so I’m biased. I’m fine with an encounter between two top stars going short if the ending is something brutal and unexpected for storyline purposes. But in this case I’m not sure Zayn going balls first onto the ring ropes to set up Kruger’s finisher was that. Plus with the unnecessary extra-curricular activities, there could have been two more minutes of match time, which it probably needed. This one felt a little flat too me. I’ve given a Raw worthy rating to every Sami Zayn match so far… but this one didn’t really help either man. So it goes.

This belongs on… Smackdown!

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter@matthewtimmons.

Andy’s Angry: Wasted Talent & Musical Chairs

There’s a lot to like right now in WWE.  It’s not perfect, by any means.  There will always be talented and popular guys waiting in the midcard, for a push that never comes.

That said, there seem to be a lot more hits than misses these days.  In 2013, Big Show feels hot and fresh.  THAT’s telling.  CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are making the Wyatts look amazing.  The Shield is still awesome, while slowly building a handful of storylines.  Big E Langston just became a star. The Usos are moving up.  Even 3MB have been refreshed.

Like it or not, the midcard hasn’t been so good since the Attitude Era.  Same goes for title credibility.  Don’t believe me?  Go back and listen to the pop when Big E Langston beat Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Title.  Go back and listen to the pop when the Rhodes boys beat The Shield for the tag straps.  Fast forward to the next US, World, or WWE title change.  More of the same.

Then there’s the Divas division.

I don’t know that I’ve ever had less respect for women’s wrestling, or pro wrestling in general, than I did this Monday.  AJ Lee versus Vickie Guerrero in a 5 minute segment that was four-and-a-half minutes too long, and a dozen girls playing musical chairs.

MUSICAL CHAIRS.  ON LIVE TV.  ON A LIVE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING SHOW.

Abysmal.  Even JBL spoke up, declaring the segment “the worst thing we’ve ever done.”  I’d be hard-pressed to disagree.

Keep in mind, this televised abortion was supposed to convince you to do two things: watch Total Divas, and pay to watch Survivor Series.  You know, that’s the show where Natalya, Cameron, Naomi, The Bellas, JoJo and Eva Maria will take on AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Kaitlyn, Rosa, Summer Rae, Aksana and Alicia Fox.

Yes, AJ and Kaitlyn are on the same team.  And yes, Eva Maria is wrestling on pay-per-view, despite having wrestled in a grand total of THREE matches.  JoJo just had her first match.  Rosa Mendez has been around for years and STILL looks totally helpless whenever she gets anywhere near a wrestling ring.

The division is a mess.  Only half the women (at best) can wrestle a respectable match.  The characters have zero continuity, at least when the women are lucky enough to HAVE characters.  With the exception of AJ Lee, the division as a whole is a total channel-changer.

MEANWHILE, IN ORLANDO….

As is mentioned once a week by my fellow Juice Make Sugar fanboys, NXT is probably WWE’s number 2 show.  Unintentionally, of course, but it’s fantastic.  Hungry young talents.  Bold, vibrant characters.  Matches that let these young guys and girls show off, and try to make a name for themselves.

All with WWE’s top-of-the-line production.

Watch any episode of NXT on Hulu.  In fact, watch every episode of NXT on Hulu.  When you do, DON’T skip the women’s match.  You’d regret it—because of both the action, and the characters.

Emma is money.  Dig up her match teaming with Santino against Fandango and Summer Rae.  She’s GOLD.  When she said that WWE stands for “World Wrestling Emmatainment,” I was sold.  I need this girl on my TV, and so do you.

Summer Rae is everything Kelly Kelly should have been.  Beautiful, talented, and charismatic as hell.  JBL calls her Mrs. Fandango, but I call her the future Mrs. Angry Andy.

Bayley is fun.  To put it simply, she’s a female fan-boy.  Oh, and she can SELL.  Most of the main-roster divas don’t know what that means.

Paige can be a star.

Sasha Banks is a great Layla to Summer’s Michelle McCool.  Needs work in the ring, but there’s potential.

Charlotte is still new, but she’s already showing some serious athletic potential, and glimpses of her dad’s natural charisma.  She’s already better than her brother, David Flair could have ever dreamt to be.

Not to mention the woman training these future divas, Sara Del Rey, is a world-class wrestler in her own right.

There is incredible talent on the roster, it’s just not being utilized.  And that begs one very serious question.

If this kind of talent exists, and is just waiting to be used, why does WWE give us MUSICAL CHAIRS instead?

The short answer isn’t very satisfying, but it is pretty simple.  WWE doesn’t care about good wrestling, at least when it comes to the girls.  WWE cares about marketing and making money.  For whatever reason, Vince & Co think that a bunch of untalented women playing musical chairs is best for business.  It doesn’t matter where you see talent.  All that matters is where Vince and Co. see dollar signs.

So how do we get good quality women’s wrestling, without sacrificing production quality?

Number one, watch on Hulu.  Make your friends watch, too.  Rewatch good episodes.  Show WWE that there is a market for this brand of wrestling.  Without an audience, and a way to monetize the product, there’s no reason to build it any bigger than it is now.

Number two, Tweet.  Tweet a lot.  WWE cares about social media more than it should.  It judges its TV shows not by Nielsen ratings, but by social media scores.  Tweet Emma, or Paige, or Bayley, or Summer.  Don’t be creepy, but show your support, and let it be known that you want what these girls have to offer.  In WWE, trending is profit.  Use it to your advantage.

Fight for the brand of wrestling you actually want to watch.  It got us CM Punk and Daniel Bryan in the main event.  It got us Antonio Cesaro.  Pretty soon, it will get us guys like Adrian Neville, Sami Zayn and Solomon Crowe.  The same strategy could bring us Emma, Paige and Bayley.

Unless, of course, you’d prefer musical chairs to talented women wrestling.  If the most mediocre of women’s wrestlers failing to improve is your thing, enjoy Raw.

I’ll hold out hope for the future…. But I won’t hold my breath.

@AndyMillerJMS

NXT Scouting Report, 11/20: Everybody Gets A Cookie!

While NXT is often the second (and sometimes THE) best show WWE produces, its primary goal is to make future superstars with Raw getting the cream of the crop, SmackDown nabs the leftovers and those who would probably better off staying on NXT than finding themselves on Main Event, or worse, Superstars .

Each week we’ll scout the “minor league” talent in each segment from the hourlong show (AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON HULU, SO WATCH IT) and decide if they’re ready for the big leagues. This week: Can a beat-the-clock challenge help our burgeoning sports-entertainers shine? 

Bo Dallas Homecoming

The most interesting thing to watch as Bo Dallas evolves his character over the coming months  is how he handles increasingly hostile crowd. Oblivious Bo is funny, but at some point he needs to learn how to keep that gee-golly shitbird smile going while acknowledging the crowd when they’re ignoring a wordy segment like this week’s slide show. It’s easy when it’s some simple Boo-Urns stuff he can shrug off, but he had to work to get through all his material here. Nothing to worry about necessarily, just something to watch for going forward. Oh, and the two best Dallas lines this week: “There I sports entertained…” and “Did you come here for a cookie?” Oh, and it was nice of Olive Oil to let Bo borrow her shirt.

Overall this was a slam-dunk segment surrounding the championship, it makes the version on Raw seem unnecessarily complicated by comparison. Bo Dallas is the face of NXT, but the fans love Sami Zayn, and Sami wants to title. So JBL’s going to make him work to get there without sacrificing the integrity of the federation. So a beat-the-clock challenge is created to give the rest of the roster a fair shake and not just hand another shot to Zayn. SIDE NOTE: The beat-the-clock challenge is a pretty stupid way to determine a #1 contender because it really doesn’t prove any sort of higher skill level. But it squeezes several matches into one show while simultaneously giving each match urgency, direction and purpose. Tournaments are always preferable, but with NXT’s one hour running time, the story needs to move a bit quicker.

One other big positive form this segment: Zayn came across as a tough babyface without being a dick – “cheeseball” is a great way to get at Dallas without calling him something misogynistic. Hope that character thread continues.

This Belongs on … Raw

Big Cass vs. Alexander Rusev

Even if I’m going to give a beat-the-clock challenge a pass overall, I still need to criticize the wrestlers when they completely ignore logic trying to win the stipulation. Maybe somebody translated the rules into Bulgarian using Google Translate, but what the fuck was Rusev looking at the clock for!?! This was the very first match of the challenge! He had no time to beat! Come on!

Other than that bit of ridiculousness, this was a fine match that made both guys look pretty good. Rusev got to beat up a legit 7-foot dude, and Big Cass got some babyface props for his fighting spirit. His breaking out of Rusev’s first attempt at the Camel Clutch was great, actually looking like a someone ripping and clawing to break a hold. So many times it looks like the guy applying the hold just kind of quits or forgets they are in a wrestling match.

This Belongs On … NXT 

Adrian Neville Interview 

I’d normally hate to celebrate a concussion of a sports entertainer. But in this case…

THANK YOU NEV-ILLE! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP. THANK YOU NEV-ILLE! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP.

This Belongs On … SmackDown

Bayley Interview

The variety of female characters that grace NXT is outstanding. And I’d be hard pressed to choose anyone over Bayley as my favorite right now. How can you not love this girl? There is some serious babyface sympathy here, but without her seeming weak or helpless. Outstanding.

This Belongs On … Raw 

Tyler Breeze vs. Kassius Ohno 

Oh god, no one told me Ohno would still be on these episodes. Does this mean we have to sit through four weeks of Ohno matches and promos knowing his fate? Oy vey. Ohno wasn’t a personal favorite of mine, but I know how much he meant to a lot of independent wrestling fans, and I always appreciated his cerebral, big strike wrestling style. It was on full display here as Ohno only went for quick pins. You know, to try and actually wrestle to the stipulation. Not surprising he’d be one of the only guys who understood the rules and wrestled accordingly.

On the plus side, it was nice to see Breeze straight-up dominate most of this match despite the loss. He looked quick, aggressive, and — despite the goofy section with Ohno lying outside and the count-out possibility ignored – focused. Getting in the ring with some one of Ohno’s caliber showed a bit more of Breeze’s in-ring knowledge and timing. The finale of the match, with reversal after reversal, flowed well and improved Breeze all-around stock even more.

This Belongs On … SmackDown

Hunico/Camacho vs. Jobby Jobbers

This Belongs On … Superstars

Kassius Ohno Interview

:(

Aiden English vs. Adrian Neville 

Okay, so now as the beat-the-clock challenge progresses, I’m starting to even 2nd guess my self whether it has any merit at all. This might just be me whining because it makes my job scouting a bit tougher, but these matches become breakneck and jittery so quick, characterization is mostly lost – and evaluating character is half of my job. Although one could say English’s attempt at a high risk maneuver at the top rope with under 30 seconds shows off his characters lack of ring awareness, we’d have to penalize just about every participant for pulling bonehead shit like that.

But, this match was still strong – both men looked spry and game, with Neville looking especially crisp after wrestling with a “knee injury” the past couple of weeks. Still not sure what kind of character Neville will go with when he finally gets called up – if he wants to stand out past guys like Tyson Kidd or Justin Gabriel he’ll need something more than high-flying skills and an accent. Hasn’t worked for those guys.

This Belongs on … SmackDown 

Leo Kruger vs. Sami Zayn

Did you see that thumbs up Zayn gave the tie-tied little girl in the front row during his entrance? What a great guy, that Sami Zayn. Can’t find a more naturally like-able wrestler going. I was hoping that we’d get Sami on the big stage around this time, as maybe a surprise Survivor Series participant or teaming up with Punk/Bryan against the Wyatts, but as long as we get solid matches each week on NXT out of him, I can be a patient fan.

We’ve seen these two do battle a few times already, and as Alex Riley pointed out (somehow without mentioning The Miz!) their contrast in styles is a pleasing experience. I had been spoiled that Neville vs. Zayn was happening soon, so I saw the beat-the-clock challenge tie coming a mile away. But seeing the timing and skill it takes to pull of getting that spot juuuuust right was awesome. Kudos to Kruger, Zayn, and ref dude for pulling it off.

Also, big ups for Bo Dallas changing into his trunks to watch this match. Always gotta be ready for a fight.

This Belongs On … Raw

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter @matthewtimmons.

NXT Scouting Report 11/7: The Unwashed Mass Cometh

NXT is often the second (and sometimes THE) best show WWE produces. But its primary goal is to make future superstars who will one day grace our televisions on Raw. Each week we’ll scout the “minor league” talent in each segment and decide if they’re ready for the big leagues. This week: Can Kassius Ohno get some sweet Wyatt Family revenge? 

Alexander Rusev vs. Sylvester LeFort

A quick squash match to end Alexander Rusev and Sylvester LeFort’s tenuous business relationships. They’ve decided that a hot Russian(?) blonde is a better choice for Rusev’s ascent to the top of NXT, but I’m not sure if that’s the best choice. Aligning the Bulgarian bruiser with a Eastern Bloc accent in high heels fits his surface0level character, but I quite enjoy the sheer goofiness of LeFort’s performance. Him trying to buy off both the ref and Rusev highlight his clear monetary pro wrestling intentions, which works for me. Sometimes the simple story is the best, and LeFort backing Rusev because he’s a beast and will make him cash money works despite the oddness of the character pairing.

Now, as I said last week, an attractive blonde woman never hurt anyone’s standing, but I have a feeling it’s to play up the Bulgarian angle and cater to the more xenophobic wresting fans. If it moves Rusev’s character emphasis from shoot-fighter with an unorthodox style to a cliche ’80’s foreigner then it’s a missed opportunity. It’s hampered Del Rio on the main roster, and the E should avoid making the same mistake again. Rusev’s skill and athleticism will get him far, but I’d love to see a neat, nuanced character develop to go with it. We shall see.

Verdict: Main Event worthy 

Bayley/Charlotte & Summer Rae/Sasha Banks Segment 

The Mean Girls successfully drove a wedge between Paige and Emma, and now they’re going after Bailey and Charlotte. Nobody’s winning an Academy Award for this segment, but NXT’s dedication to putting the time in for these feuds makes the subsequent matches a lot richer, and they’re doing it in only one hour! Later in the show we got a quick backstage confrontation between Emma and Paige, so all six of our main female wrestlers got air time on tonight’s show. A combined Raw + Smackdown is five entire hours per week, but only about 10 minutes are dedicated to women’s action, and rarely any of it story. When these ladies all find their way up, that has to change.

Verdict: Raw worthy

Leo Kruger vs. El Local 

A short, effective outing for Kruger as he got in all his offense against his plump luchador opponent. After a couple of high profile matches with Sami Zayn and Antonio Cesaro, this was sold as the return of a refocused and game Kruger to establish dominance in the ring. All his moves looked crisp and strong, and our announcing team did a nice job of selling Kruger as a force going forward. His snap suplex into a double hook submission was killer – I’m a sucker for anybody chaining moves together and not preening in-between (all character-based of course, Breeze can preen all he wants.) If Kruger can pair tight technical wrestling with his crazy-eyed hunter gimmick, cable television is right around the corner.

Verdict: Smackdown worthy 

The Ascension vs. These Guys

Another squash match from our tag-team champs? I guess there aren’t any babyface tag teams to challenge for the belts, so we are stuck running in place with The Ascension for now. How about letting them cut some weirdo promo after the victory about ancient bullshit and mystic power? Give me a reason to boo these dudes. We don’t know anything about them, and I’d like to hear what they have to say. Time to make sense of this gimmick and see if its got wings. Also, if you’re going to do sweet tandem finishing moves, it’s best to remember which one of you is the legal man and needs to wrap up the three-count. Oof.

Verdict: Superstars worthy

Mojo Rawley vs. Some Dude 

I really like how they’ve worked Mojo so far. Instead of presenting him as a jobber killer in his first couple matches, they’ve let him get hit in the mouth a few times and actually have to sweat a bit to win his matches. Portraying him as raw and unpolished, and letting him work with some of that sweet, sweet babyface comeback heat is a great idea, and an underused tactic for new dudes. The guy is a lovable ball of pure unbridled athletic energy, and it’s going to get him into trouble in the ring occasionally. NXT’s ability to tell coherent and character building stories inside the ring is spot on.

Verdict: Main Event worthy 

Kassius Ohno vs. Luke Harper 

Goddamn Luke Harper is fucking great. Fantastic synergy by the WWE – he gets another showcase solo match in NXT the same week he hung with CM Punk on Raw (losing in a roll-up after missing with his brutal lariat) and gets da gawd Daniel Bryan on Smackdown this Friday. No surprise for those familiar with the former Brodie Lee, but after this week I wonder if his standing (at least with the non-NXT watching WWE fans) will exceed that of his leader Bray Wyatt.

Harper looked fantastic tangling with the agile Ohno, a perfect match to his “farm boy” strength, as Renee Young put it. Harper’s animal-like ring psychology was on full display here, and he’s slowly proving that he’s not just going to be an empty wife-beater with a meathook. The gator-rolls, the taunting with his dead eyes before a devastating big-boot, and his stiff-looking style makes him a naturally brutal big man that works so well with underdog super-sellers like Ohno. His match with Bryan on Smackdown will be a must watch. Side note: Alex Riley seemed a tad preoccupied with Harper’s hygiene and showering habits, but it did give me the inspiration for a killer nickname for him, The Unwashed Mass.

And speaking of Ohno, any fans who were worried about his standing – despite losing again to Harper – should pay close attention to the commentary team. They not only mentioned his physique looking more impressive than usual, but they reinforced many of Ohno’s character traits like his striking ability and home-run in-ring style, which Ohno obliged by hitting a vicious rolling elbow that almost secured the victory. If they’re putting in the effort to sell him to the NXT audience, that can only mean good things going forward.

Also, play-by-play man Tom Phillips even referenced Ohno’s past run-ins with Punk, Rollins, Bryan and Cesaro. I’m not saying it guarantees an Ohno call up as Punk/Bryan’s third man in their burgeoning Wyatt Family feud, but holy shit it’s never going to be easier to get him to the main roster storyline-wise. Regardless the fact the seeds were planted mixing Ohno in with established stars is a good sign. Make it happen, Triple H!

Verdict: Raw worthy

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter @matthewtimmons.

NXT Scouting Report 9/4: The Sami Zayn Show

NXT is often the second (and sometimes THE) best show WWE produces. But its primary goal is to make future superstars who will one day grace our televisions on Raw. Each week we’ll scout the “minor league” talent in each segment and decide if they’re ready for the big leagues. This week: can Sami Zayn keep his amazin’ match streak alive?

Bayley & Charlotte vs. Alicia Fox & Aksana

A serviceable women’s match the further establishes Bayley and Charlotte as quality fan-favorites in NXT. Bayley completely stole the show as usual, and I’m pretty sure she had the 2nd biggest ovation of the show. Her adorable reaction to getting a fan-made sign was priceless, and her  “hugplex” was devastatingly cute. The quick pinkie shake between her and Charlotte before the match began was adorable and a nice way to show some camaraderie between the two. I also was pleasantly surprised by Bayley’s more subdued reactions during the match. They could easily let her slip into a one-note, fawning idiot, I’m glad she’s playing cute and not brain-dead.

Aksana continues to be terrible and Alicia Fox didn’t do much to impress me, but it was still light-years ahead of that triple-threat garbage WWE put on last Monday night. The finish was a bit of a hot-mess, but overall it was still a fun match. It can only help the “upper” division having Diva’s spend time in Florida with Sara Del Rey and company. I’m impressed with NXT’s commitment to the women’s division, opening the show with a ladies tag-team match is something you’ll never see on Raw.

Verdict: Smackdown! worthy.

Sylvester LeFort, Scott Dawson and Alexander Rusev Promo

And you thought Cesaro hanging out with Swaggs and Colter was weird. Is this the strangest threesome in pro-wrestling history? A gas-station attendant, a Bulgarian Muay Thai fighter, and a French bottle-tan spokesmodel/pro wrestling manager? Well, if anything can bring three random weirdos together, it’s the love of cheap steak and all-you-can-eat shrimp.

Verdict: Main Event worthy.

Rick Victor vs. Corey Graves

I should just link to the greatest album review of all-time and let it speak for me. But I’m a serious wrestling journalist (despite what Cody Rhodes thinks) so I’ll give you fair take on this match.

Corey Graves sucks. If this guy makes it to the main roster I’ll eat my hat. He doesn’t do anything special, and for a guy his size that makes no sense. He needs to bring something unique to the ring to make up for his unimposing look – maybe sell the shit out of everything a la Ziggler or Rollins or learn some sick high-flying moves.The man stomp-punches, shows off his knuckle tattoos, and the announcer sell him as a “submission specialist.” That’s it. How can you tell somebody to “stay down” when they’ve kicked your ass for seven minutes? Yeesh. Side note: As much as it pains me that Los Matadores are siphoning Not-El Generico’s “Ole” chant before he hits the main roster, I love that Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel pepper their CM Punk feud with shouts of “stay down.” Sorry Corey!

I’m not sure who thought it was a good idea to stick him in the ring with the ultra bland Rick Victor. Victor’s been serviceable tagging in The Ascension, but left naked here in a singles match we get a jobber with a receding hairline and black eye contacts. I legit laughed that Tony Phillips excused Victor not knowing what the fuck to do in the ring as “being deliberate” and “having no wasted motion.” The man carries zero of his gimmick into the ring, and that’s not going to cut it after what Bray Wyatt gave the NXT universe.

No energy, no urgency, no dice. Fast-forward is your friend.

Verdict: Barely house show worthy.

Summer Rae manipulates Sasha Banks

Thespians, emote! I love Machiavellian Summer Rae antics, waging psychological warfare on Paige through her opponents to remain Queen of NXT. She’s been beaten physically by the Women’s champ, so it makes sense she’d regroup and attack with a different strategy. Depth to women’s feuds, how about that! Bonus points for Summer almost saying “relevance” every time she tried to say “relevant.” Good saves!

It’s too bad Sasha Banks could be out-acted by a piece of plywood. I want to see Summer screw with Bayley’s head. That would be fun television.

Verdict: Superstars worthy.

Renée Young Interviews Paige

A simple “I’m a fucking fight-ehha” promo from Paige. Oh man that accent, sometimes I close my eyes and…

Ahem. This was a short, sweet and necessary mission statement from our Women’s champ to remind us who’s wrecking shop next week. Extremely hard for any segment with Renée and Paige to score anything other than Raw worthy.

Verdict: Raw worthy.

Mason Ryan vs. Alexander Rusev

If you’re trying to sell me on Mason Ryan being a legit monster strong man, putting him in the ring with Alexander Rusev is a terrible idea.  Rusev is an athletic 300-pounder who moves like a cat, meanwhile Ryan runs like the canvas is covered in marbles, and his muscles might be fake, Giant Gonzalez style. Watch the sequence where Ryan runs the ropes, Rusev ducks a clothesline then lays Ryan out with a spinning heel kick. The contrast in ability is unmistakable, and I’m not sure who can take Ryan seriously after this match.

Rusev looks as good as he can against a stiff like Ryan. What a stark difference from wrestling Dolph Ziggler two weeks ago. But if he can look solid against two entirely different wrestling styles, that bodes well for his long-term future. Teaming up with LeFort and Larry the Cable Wrestler, however,  makes little sense outside of “he needs a mouthpiece,” and I don’t like a guy that talented needing distractions for victories. Let the Bulgarian beast smash.

Verdict: Main Event worthy.

Leo Kruger lays out Xavier Woods

I approve of this development. NXT does all the little things right, and in a 30-second segment a new feud is born. Is it really that hard to pull this off on the big shows?

Verdict: Main Event worthy.

Sami Zayn vs. Jack Swagger

I feel guilty how much I love Sami Zayn. Before he arrived in NXT, I only had a passing knowledge of the existence of El Generico. Admittedly, I’m one of those fans who didn’t pay much attention to the independent wrestling scene pre-Pipe Bomb. So now not only do I get these amazing NXT matches, I get to dive into YouTube and Vimeo and binge on the greatest hits of El Generico.. So much awesome at the same time! The only thing I can compare this to is when I discovered Queens of the Stone Age and then found out about this band named Kyuss. Once you get that taste, goddamn it’s insatiable, and having such a rich back catalog is a godsend.

Zayn versus Jack Swagger may not have reached the epic heights of the Cesaro matches, but it was still one of the best NXT bouts of the year. Zayn’s ability to work the crowd into a frothy frenzy is already Raw worthy, and I wonder how long WWE will keep him down in Orlando. If he can pull off Swagger’s best match of the year, what could he do for guys like Ryback?

The highlight of the match (for me) was Zayn’s sick running corner big boot that Swagger ate like a champ. That turnbuckle cam reply shot of Swagger getting smashed was just tremendous; I think I replayed it about eight times. Somebody .gif that shit. I’ve watched enough Generico matches now to know that’s a staple, and it was glorious here. It came right after a brutal Patriot Lock sequence that Zayn sold hard. We’ve seen so many guys tap out in two seconds, it was great to see Sami fight out of it (well, at least the first time) and sell it like a devastating submission finisher. All around an awesome sequence.

My only quibble with the match was the ending. I understand that Swagger is a main roster guy so he can’t stay and feud forever. That means Zayn’s contempt for Bo Dallas needs to ramp up – but distraction finishes suck the air out the room so fast. The match was too good not to have a definitive ending – unless we’re getting Zayn/Swagger II down the line. Begrudgingly, I’ll admit I’m ready to see Zayn whip Bo Dallas badly now, so this booking did work me on a emotional level. You win this time, pro wrestling tropes.

Verdict: PPV worthy.

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter @matthewtimmons.

NXT Review 8/21/13 – Was It Raw Worthy?

Most weeks NXT is WWE’s 2nd best show they produce (and sometimes the best.) But its primary goal is to produce future superstars to one day grace our televisions on Monday Night. Each week we’ll take a look at each individual segment and decide if it’s “Raw worthy.” 

AJ Lee (c) vs. Bayley – WWE Divas Championship Match

Bayley nails her role as the star-struck comic con groupie, I especially loved her hug-drives in the corner turnbuckles. She does bashful as well as The Ultimate Warrior did batshit. Showing some real character beats that would work on any WWE show, Bayley would be a welcome change in a stale women’s division with only one true character type.

Also, AJ’s visit to NXT let her stretch out a bit as well. Too small to “squash” anyone on Raw, this is as close as she’ll get to a dominant win. For whatever reason WWE wants no part of a woman’s champ who consistently looks strong. And this is the 2nd time we’ve seen her break out a Shining Wizard, so hopefully that’s a thing going forward.

Quick wrestling-nerd tangent: isn’t it a bit odd that right after a huge angle ends where Paige won the NXT Women’s Championship, AJ defends the supposedly more prestigious Divas title against somebody who randomly asked for it?  Really just to try and get more hugs?

Where was Paige, Summer Rae, or even Emma complaining about not getting a crack at the butterfly belt? I know that’s some serious fantasy booking (Paige/AJ segment thanksssss) but at least acknowledging the more deserving NXT challengers could have given AJ an extra heel segment to work with as she brushed them off. Oh well.

Verdict: Raw worthy.

CJ Parker photobombs Tyler Breeze

Short but effective way to further Breeze’s introduction to the NXT universe (do we have to say that, is that a thing?) and setting up Parker’s re-introduction later in the show as a living 17-minute Phish guitar solo. My only concern with Breeze thus far is how similar this schtick is to Fandango, two guys with more important things to do than get hit in the face. Although through NXT exposure Breeze should have an even better grasp on his character than Fandango did when he debuted.

Verdict: Smackdown worthy.

The Ascension vs Ron Hicks & Michael Zaki

I’m not sure what the deal is with these cats. Are the supernatural, or just really serious dudes with a vaguely religious name? Oh, play-by-play guy Tony Phillips tells us they have “archaic and ancient principles,” so that clears it all up.

At least it’s encouraging that O’Brian and Rick Victor have some legit tag-team moves, which are lacking in the WWE tag-team division. But where do these guys fit in on the roster? The Wyatt Family already cornered the creepy ohgodwhatthefuck market, but in a more “real-world” way. The Ascension are basically steampunk Sons of Damien Demento, stuck in a wrestling world that doesn’t believe in magic anymore. Don’t see them on the main shows.

And hey Victor, those goggles, they do nothing!

Verdict: Superstars Worthy

CJ Parker vs Baron Corbin

I’m a sucker for ridiculous wrestling hometowns, and “Moonchild commune” is pretty funny. Mix that with play-by-play man Tom Phillips’ line “he looks like the Predator got hit over the head with a Jackson Pollock painting” and I at least enjoyed a bit of Parker’s segment. But his wrestling was blah, and this gimmick of a photobombing hippie who takes the brown acid while squeezing out two more pushups a day than Kassius Ohno doesn’t work for me.

But his confrontation with Breeze was fantastic, at least at showing how much more fun Breeze can be. Bonus points for Breeze debuting his glorious pissy voice. How could we ever root for Parker in this scenario? He’s Bo Dallas with dreads, a “stealth” heel nobody’s going to get behind. Not buying it. Can’t wait until he eats “Blue Steel” from Breeze (that’s what I’m calling his finisher until told otherwise.)

Verdict: House-show worthy for the match, Smackdown worthy for Breeze portion.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Alexander Rusev

Dolph Ziggler wrestling dudes that outweigh him by 100 pounds will always be great. As will giant Bulgarian beasts who slap their thighs before running shoulder blasts in the corner. How great was Rusev in his debut? A 300 pounder will a spinning heel kick and a splash of the top rope, all while looking like Sagat crosses with E. Honda? Throw in random taunting in Bulgarian and I’m sold.

Props to Dolph, coming down to NXT and letting Rusev kick his ass a bit. He didn’t let him too much because he can’t get shown up that badly by an NXT newbie, despite getting worked over being Dolph’s schtick. Can’t wait to see him maul jobbers for two months then annihilate Mason Ryan back to jolly Wales.

Verdict: Smackdown worthy.

Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro – ⅔ Falls Match

You’re going to read a lot about this match in the coming weeks, and deservedly so. One of the benefits of NXT is the freedom they have to work. The storylines are tight, easy to understand, and almost always about wrestling. There’s no reason this kind of feud can’t be used to make the Intercontinental title a prestigious belt again, coveted by men who value skill and possess the desire to be the best. There has to be space on Raw for these kinds of stories. Nick mentioned in his SummerSlam column earlier this week how he felt Del Rio was slowly evolving the World Heavyweight championship into a technical wrestling showcase. Feuds like Zayn/Cesaro could, and should, do that for the IC title as well.

Two things stood out the most in this instant classic, and I mean two things besides the unreal through-the-ropes spinning DDT or the Tornado DDT into Swiss Death reversal. One, how about that unbelievable neck crank Cesaro locks in for his first submission pin? Using a what’s normally a rest hold to crush your opponents throat, cut off his circulation, and put him to sleep. Props to Zayn for selling the hell out of with his barely conscious taps to the mat. William Regal puts over that move every Cesaro match he calls, and it was great to see it put to such good use.

Two, check out how quick Cesaro goes for the Neutralizer after his stunning feat-of-strength reversal. He immediately picks Zayn back up, pulls him into position, and crushes his body to the canvas. How many wrestlers do that anymore? After hitting such a killer move, most would preen and pose for the crowd forever before executing their finisher. But Zayn and Cesaro were telling a story in the ring, a wrestling story, each man desperate to defeat the other to prove their superior skill level. A man who wants to win wastes no time in the ring. Nothing gets my wrestling nerd going than purpose with each movement.

Verdict: WrestleMania 30 Intercontinental Title Match worthy.

Matthew Timmons runs the stat-centric WWE website Kayfabermetrics, and can be harassed on Twitter @matthewtimmons.