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Bang for Your Buck PPV Review: Survivor Series 2013

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The WWE celebrated the 27th edition of the Survivor Series  in Boston last night, and well, at least nobody got screwed?

For those who missed the Hell in a Cell review, the criteria for these reviews is simple: “Did I get my money’s worth?” in terms of the individual matches and the PPV as a whole, using the tried and true “what was this trying to do, and how well did it succeed” test of “quality”.

Each match is rated plus or minus on a sliding scale between 1 and -1, with matches worth multiple rewatches being +1, a just-quite-PPV quality match +/- 0,  and things that make me reevaluate being a fan earning up to a -1 score. The higher the number, the better Bang For Your Buck on the PPV. We’ll (eventually) keep a running tally for each PPV, and a handy list of PPVs we review to give you (and us) a better idea of what we thought was worth the time to check out in terms of matches and PPVs. As for the scale, it’s not particularly complicated but here are the basic levels (on a per-match basis):

Review Guide

As always, we’re going to be using what I said during the What’s the Worst That Could Happen preview to see how close I was to “predicting” what unfolded, and how it stacked up to my beliefs of what they were “trying” to do. Enjoy!

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston (Kickoff Match)

Best Case Scenario: The inevitable “You Wanna Know Why?” promo is short, the match is long enough to make both guys not look like, well, themselves. Miz  fakes an injury, then leaves  for six months to go shoot the direct-to-video sequel to the ABC Family Original movie The Christmas Bounty.

Although this doesn’t count for the PPV’s overall Buck Bang (I guess?), I’d be remiss to not mention how very solid this match was. Both competitors looked, especially before the commercial break  — yes, I know, but at least it was doing the free part — like the best possible version of himself. That they teased a Kofi heel turn was actually exciting, even if it didn’t make a ton of sense.

Rhodes Brothers, Usos and Rey vs. The Real Shield Americans in a Traditional 5-on-5 Survivor Series Match

What Nick Wants to Happen: A match half as good as the main event from this week’s Raw.

What Will Happen: The heels win, because of dissension from the face team. Rey Mysterio gets speared in half.

While dissension from the face team is always fun, I should have predicted “The heels win, because Roman Reigns” because “future megastar destroys entire group of people” is definitely better than the already super great “The Usos are feuding with the Rhodes boys”. This entire thing was beautiful, and while “the story” itself for the match wasn’t quite to the level of the main event from this week’s Raw, the execution of last night’s story — Roman Reigns is a grown ass man —  was as close to perfect as possible. Everyone got a proper spotlight, and while Reigns finished the match (and maybe the night) looking like the best man, everyone looked good to great, and that’s all you can ask for from anything, and especially a match like this. That it was in-and-of-itself an insanely enjoyable a-move-a-minute-without-being-a-spot fest  for a full 20 minutes before that almost seems unfair.

These are things that only the traditional Survivor Series matches can do, and why, for all the wandering away from the original conceit, they try to come back to it at least once every year and treat it like it’s one their most important shows.

Match +1.0

Big E. Langston (C) vs. Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Championship

Best Case Scenario: Curtis Axel actually looks like he deserved to be Intercontinental Champion for the past few months, but the rising star of Big  E. burns just a little too brightly for Curtis to overcome. Also, Big E. makes the ref count to five. That would be awesome.

Although the crowd was the dribbling shits for this match, the performances were every bit as good as I had hoped. Big E. is a super duper star in the making, even if his post-match “I’m pandering to you” pander promo fell a little flat. Curtis Axel never really looked like he had a chance in this match, but he looked as good — if not better — than he looked the entire time he held the belt. Just being able to stay in the ring with someone like Big E. and not look like a scared little boy as 290 pounds flies all around the ring at you is an underrated skill, one that Curtis Axel did a yeoman’s job of projecting. That he got in most of his offense, and even a Perfectplex, means while they may not think he’s Intercontinental Title material, they definitely think he has a future. Not a masterpiece, but everything it needed to be and a little more.

Match +.4 | PPV 1.4

Total Divas vs. The Non-Total Divas in a “Traditional” 7-on-7 Survivor Series Match

What Nick Wants to Happen: Anything interesting at all the entire match.

This was not a “good” match, but it definitely wasn’t bad, and the “story” of the match was well told/mildly interesting. Which is nice. That they are turning Summer Rae into “girl who just dances”? Not so much. But pick your battles, and all that.

Match +/-0 | PPV 1.4

Ryback v. Mark Henry

My love for both of these performers is well-documented and knows no bounds. As Andy, who I watched the show with, put it: this works way better with Henry as the face. Now, Mark Henry could wrestle Khali and I think I would find it enjoyable, but him getting a solid 10-minute match with a guy that can do things like actually suplex him is pretty much what you want from a return match with him. This isn’t the type of match you show people who don’t like wrestling why it’s so awesome (see: the first match on the card), but as someone who paid for the PPV, it’s still nice to watch two guys Hoss it Out.

Match +.4 | PPV 1.8

 John Cena (C) vs. Alberto del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship

What Will Happen: Cena will overcome impossible odds and beat Alberto del Rio with one arm. The injured one.

There’s a difference between being “predictable” and “easy to predict”. The result of John Cena matches are “predictable”, in the sense that it’s almost always clear when he goes to lose a match, which is almost never. Given the binary option of “win” or “lose”, “predicting” what’s going to happen in a John Cena match is simple. Being “predictable” is fine: Batman and Superman are predictable. But, being “easy to predict” means “I know what’s going to happen in the match, and more importantly, at the end” and that’s where the problems happen. John Cena is a superhero and we should not expect him to shockingly lose, pretty much ever. Him winning the match after power bombing Albert del Rio with his bad arm is not something we should expect to see. When it happens, it should be magical and inspiring, not “oh, of course.” “Oh, of course” is kryptonite for performers on Cena’s level, and it’s something he’s done a very good job of staying away from since he feuded with Punk two years ago. And while this match was totally enjoyable, it had potential to be really great, and more importantly, much less easy to predict.

Match +.4 | PPV 2.2

CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan

What Nick Wants to Happen: The Beard and the Best to take an epic shitkicking, but like Bret Hart and Timex before them, manage to take a licking and keep on ticking.

What Will Happen: Probably something close to what I want to happen. I’m special and Vince McMahon loves me.

Like the 5-on-5 match, this was exactly what it needed to be, and maybe a little more. Erick Rowan, and especially Luke Harper, are special talents and this match was a showcase for that. All four men looked as good as was humanly possible and even the pre-match vignette/Bray Wyatt promo was the type of stuff that makes him one of the most talked about superstars in years despite wrestling only sporadically since his debut/injury. There are teams that can stay together  forever, and while I would love to see Luke or Erick make it to the next level as a singles competitor, the Wyatt boys are definitely a pairing that I would not mind working together for a long long time. And while I’d prefer both of them to get back to singles  competition as soon as possible, this detour through the swamp is exactly what they needed in order to refresh themselves for the ramp up to WrestleMania season.

Match +.7 | PPV 2.9

Randy Orton (C) vs. Big Show for the WWE Title

Best Case Scenario: Randy Orton pulls out all the sto(m)ps as he reverts completely back into his serial killer/Legacy period. Triple H doesn’t come down to ringside, and nobody cheats.

There’s definitely something to be said for what they are doing with Randy Orton right now that I actually like more than almost anything on the show right now: they are making him crazy. Some of it is subtle, like the incompetence of Brad Maddox, Vickie Guerrero and Kane getting Randy Orton into all different types of fights, and some of it is glaringly overt, like the constant challenges from H and Stephanie for Randy to pick his game up.

With the way this match was booked, and the way that Orton played it, they are really building up the “heavy is the head that wears the crown” aspect of his title reign, which is wonderful, at least in the sense that it gives him a purpose beyond “thing the Authority uses to shank you in the prison cafeteria”. It also creates tension between Triple H, Stephanie and all of the members of the administration, including the Shield. But it begs a serious question: Why?

Why aren’t they just having Randy Orton be Murder Death Killer? This isn’t a rhetorical question, either. If the goal of this match/end of PPV angle with Cena was to get us to ask confused questions AND make sure we tune into Raw tonight, they did a GREAT job. But, if the goal was to create excitement beyond confused curiosity? Not so much.

Match +.6

Your Mileage May Vary on the Divas match, but for the most part, this was a very good card that did a lot to move a number of story lines/characters forward, helped establish a few performers — — Big E. and the Wyatts — as formidable competitors, while planting the seeds for Roman Reigns to be made king of the world. If the main event finish didn’t feel so wonky, this could have been the best PPV we reviewed, but because of what could most generously described as an “meh” finish, it’s toward the back of the middle of the pack for  the full card, even if it finds itself much closer to the top of what we’ve reviewed when it comes to a per match basis. While the matches on an individual level were  all PPV-quality, considering the PPV ended essentially 20  minutes short makes me feel like — and I can’t believe I’m saying this — having the Miz vs. Kofi on the actual card would have made me feel like I’d paid for a steal of a card, as opposed to one I just simply wasn’t disappointed in.

PPV 3.5 | Match Avg. .5

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Headlock’d: PPV Predictions – 2013 Survivor Series

This week, we give our Pay Per View Predictions for Survivor Series and our thoughts as to who will be left standing tall.

What’s the Worst That Could Happen?: Survivor Series 2013

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It’s Survivor Series Sunday, which means it’s time for us to ask: “What’s the Worst That Could Happen?”.  And, because we love you, you’ll also be getting a PPV Predictions episode of Headlock’d fresh from the oven this afternoon. All of this (for free!) before we drop our world famous Bang for Your Buck PPV review in your lap on Monday morning.

To make sure you don’t miss anything, follow us (or me) on Twitter and like us on Facebook. Now that we’ve gotten the shameless plugs out of the way, let’s figure out What’s the Worst That Could Happen tonight in Boston:

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston (Kickoff Match)

Best Case Scenario: The inevitable “You Wanna Know Why?” promo is short, the match is long enough to make both guys not look like, well, themselves. Miz  fakes an injury, then leaves  for six months to go shoot the direct-to-video sequel to the ABC Family Original movie The Christmas Bounty.

Worst Case Scenario: The E uses the Miz’s heel turn as an excuse to show literally dozens of clips from the ABC Family Original movie The Christmas Bounty during Miz TV, with a victory in this match as the starting off point of the “push”.

What Nick Wants to Happen: Not to be impossibly bored/angry I spent time watching something I didn’t pay  for that’s supposed  to be an advertisement for the something I did pay  for.

What Will Happen: Impossible boredom and anger.

Big E. Langston (C) vs. Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Championship

Best Case Scenario: Curtis Axel actually looks like he deserved to be Intercontinental Champion for the past few months, but the rising star of Big  E. burns just a little too brightly for Curtis to overcome. Also, Big E. makes the ref count to five. That would be awesome.

Worst Case Scenario: Big E. or Curtis Axel get hurt. Any other scenario is fundamentally okay. Even Curtis getting the belt back.

What Nick Wants to Happen: Less Ultimate Warrior vs. Honky Tonk Man, more Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage.

What Will Happen: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Total Divas vs. The Non-Total Divas in a “Traditional” 7-on-7 Survivor Series Match

Best Case Scenario: The heels sweep, Kaitlyn stabs AJ. All of this happens in under five minutes. 

Worst Case Scenario: The faces win decisively in a half-hour match consisting entirely of butts-to-the-face and poorly executed snapmares.

What Nick Wants to Happen: Anything interesting at all the entire match.

What Will Happen: Nothing interesting. At all. The entire match.

Rhodes Brothers, Usos and Rey vs. The Real Shield Americans in a Traditional 5-on-5 Survivor Series Match

Best Case Scenario: All the members of both teams each get a spotlight in the match, which eats up the middle hour of the show, Usos turn heel on Rhodes Brothers, starting the second best feud ever. The Real Americans  turn on the Shield, starting the best feud ever.

Worst Case Scenario: Rey Mysterio wrestles the entire match, not tagging anyone in the entire time, 619’s the entire heel team at once before pinning them all simultaneously.

What Nick Wants to Happen: A match half as good as the main event from this week’s Raw.

What Will Happen: The heels win, because of dissension from the face team. Rey Mysterio gets speared in half.

 John Cena (C) vs. Alberto del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship

Best Case Scenario: The crowd  in Boston actually gets into a match with their “hometown” hero, John Cena. Alberto del Rio cleanly beats Cena, but after knocking out the referee as part of getting Cena in the position to lose, is then given an AA so powerful it A) looks like it might actually hurt instead of feeling like your being thrown around in a pool and B) allows Ricardo to come out and “take advantage” of del Rio, setting up an AWESOME match next month at TLC.

Worst Case Scenario: Del Rio is given an AA so powerful it A) looks like it might actually hurt and B) finishes the match in five minutes, followed by John Cena giving a 20-minute speech to the crowd where he changes his voice to sound like he’s from Southie.

What Nick Wants to Happen: A main event quality match, even if it’s going to be a Raw-quality finish.

What Will Happen: Cena will overcome impossible odds and beat Alberto del Rio with one arm. The injured one.

CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan

Best Case Scenario: Mega Power seeds are planted between Bryan and Punk, who narrowly defeat the Dueling Banjos Band after a miscommunication nearly costs them the match.

Worst Case Scenario: This match gets shortened because the Diva’s Match ran long.

What Nick Wants to Happen: The Beard and the Best to take an epic shitkicking, but like Bret Hart and Timex before them, manage to take a licking and keep on ticking.

What Will Happen: Probably something close to what I want to happen. I’m special and Vince McMahon loves me.

Randy Orton (C) vs. Big Show for the WWE Title

Best Case Scenario: Randy Orton pulls out all the sto(m)ps as he reverts completely back into his serial killer/Legacy period. Triple H doesn’t come down to ringside, and nobody cheats.

Worst Case Scenario: Everyone cheats.

What Nick Wants to Happen: A match with a clean finish where Randy Orton wins, since the storyline implications in this match otherwise are either silly or super depressing, depending on how you look at it.

What Will Happen: Orton retains. Probably with help from Kane and Brad Maddox.

WATCH, SKIM OR SKIP: SPOILER ALERT WITH “ANGRY” ANDY, 10/28-11/1

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There’s a lot of wrestling on TV every week, but only some of it is actually worth watching.  That’s where I come in: every week, I’ll break down the spoilers of all of WWE’s pre-taped shows to let you know what you should watch, and which segments and full shows you should skim or skip.  This week, there’s a lot to love… if you really love Ryback and/or using your remote to fast forward

MAIN EVENT

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(spoilers via PWInsider.com)

Main Event continues to be my favorite hour of “main roster” wrestling WWE produces, but I think this week’s show looks less than promising.  Let’s get right to it.

Ryback d Kofi Kingston

Ryback wins a match he really couldn’t afford to lose, against a guy who once showed a lot of promise, and is now forever stuck as a midcard babyface.  Oh, it’s also the guy he once destroyed so badly he had to have surgery a day before the attack.  And it’s the same guy who NEVER SOUGHT REVENGE.  I’m sure NONE of that is mentioned on commentary.  Anyway, Ryback hits all his spots, and at one point, uses a Jackhammer on our favorite former Jamaican.  This serves as nothing but a C-show squash, slowly building to Ryback vs Goldberg.

Santino d Heath Slater

The Cobra continues to single-handedly squash 3MB.  See what I did there?  It’s probably as good as this match.  At least these guys are entertaining.

Los Matadores d “Los Locales”

Los Matadores have already been cast aside in their ready-made feud with the All Americans.  Swagger and Cesaro are after the tag belts, and Los Matadores are squashing a tired gimmick on Ion Television.  Speaking of the tired gimmick, is there really no better way to utilize the talents of Ricardo Rodriguez and Tyson Kidd?  If you have nothing better for these guys than a mid-90s job-gimmick, wish them well in their future endeavors and let them try their luck elsewhere.  This match will be solid while it lasts, but a complete waste of time.

Fandango d Great Khali

Fandango could be gold.  He has a gimmick, is at-least decent in the ring, and is paired up with a woman who is both gorgeous and talented.  Pairing him up with NXT’s Tyler Breeze would be perfect.  Asking him to carry the Punjabi Playboy? Not so much.

SKIP this show… unless you really love Ryback.

SMACKDOWN

WWE-Smackdown

(spoilers via PWInsider.com)

Smackdown! continues its run as the blue version of Raw…

Michael Cole interviews HHH.

HHH says Big Show is “banned for life.”  Fans immediately expect a Big Show run-in.  Hopefully, this is kept short.

John Cena promo…

Is interrupted by the Real Americans, Damien Sandow, and the Rhodes Brothers.  Vickie Guerrero channels the spirit of Teddy Long and books a 6-man tag for later tonight.

The Shield promo…

They’re sick of the Usos.

The Usos d The Shield

Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins representing the Shield in this one.  4 talented guys.  Should be a good-to-great match, IF it’s given time.

The Wyatt Family d Prime Time Players

Bray Wyatt hits his finish after the match.  Most likely a filler match, to sell the Daniel Bryan/CM Punk attacks from Raw.  The five guys in this segment are all trying hard to establish themselves and move up.  Hopefully, it shows.

MizTV featuring Shawn Michaels

No Shawn Michaels.  Randy Orton comes out instead.  It ends with an RKO, so this may be the first MizTV that’s actually worth watching.

Natalya & The Bella Twins d Alicia Fox, Tamina & WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee

AJ taps to the Sharpshooter.  Depending who’s in the ring, this could be good, or it could be a nightmare.  The good news is it will probably be kept REALLY short.

John Cena, Cody Rhodes & Goldust d Damien Sandow & The Real Americans

Swagger eats an AA.  Sandow, Cesaro, and both Rhodes brothers main event – as they should.  If they look like they belong in their with Cena, then this match served its purpose.

SKIM this show.  The action sounds good and the matches logical, but lots of promos.  You can probably watch the whole show in 25 minutes, courtesy of your DVR.

Follow me on Twitter @AndyMillerJMS

Bang for Your Buck PPV Review: Hell in a Cell

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Hell in a Cell took place in Miami, and we got what we were expecting from this. And I mean that in every possible way.

For those who missed Dave’s Bound for  Glory review, the criteria for these is simply: “Did I get my money’s worth?” in terms of the individual matches and the PPV as a whole, using the tried and true “what was this trying to do, and how well did it succeed” rubric.

Each match is rated plus or minus on a sliding scale between 1 and -1, with matches worth multiple rewatches worth 1, a just-quite-PPV quality match being 0,  and things that make me reevaluate being a fan earning up to a -1 score. The higher the number, the better Bang For Your Buck on the PPV. We’ll (eventually) keep a running tally for each PPV, and a handy list of PPVs we review to give you (and us) a better idea of what we thought was worth the time to check out in terms of matches and PPVs. As for the scale, it’s not particularly complicated but here are the basic levels (on a per-match average):

Review Guide

Like always, we’re going to be using what I said during the What’s the Worst That Could Happen preview to see how close I was to “predicting” what unfolded, and how it stacked up to my best hopes and worst fears. Enjoy!

Cody Rhodes & Goldust (c) vs.

Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins vs. The Usos

For the WWE Tag Team Championships

What Nick Wants to Happen: More than 10 minutes of wrestling, the Usos to not be completely buried and the Rhodes boys to start a feud with the Wyatt Family after narrowly, but cleanly, defeating the Shield.

Man, if them Rhodes Boys continue to put on performances like this, that “Goldust getting a run with the WHC before giving it to Cody” might have more traction than we think. The Usos continue to be the most underrated THING in wrestling, and may have been the stars of this match. These are three of the more exciting WWE tag teams in a long, long, long time and this was the best possible way to open what should have been a super hot show (Spoiler Alert: it was not.) This also featured maybe the best “babyface in peril” work in recent memory from Dustin, Roman Reigns showing why he is a future World’s Champion and, seriously if Cody Rhodes isn’t buying Seth Rollins a six-pack after every time he sells the Cross Rhodes P-E-R-F-E-C-T-L-Y, he’s a bad friend. I would pay to see matches like this until the day I die.

Match: 1.0

Summer Rae and Fandango vs.

Natalya and The Great Khali

Easily the most surprising match of the night, and not just because it was unannounced. Summer Rae continues to build on her EXCELLENT — genuine top of the card — work on NXT, and Fandango wrestling on/around Khali was as well done as anything this side of his SummerSlam match with Triple H. While this isn’t a match you’d show your friends to get them to want to watch more, being pleasantly surprised by a good match for a PPV you were tepid — at best– about is something really really nice that doesn’t happen often enough. Throw in some a few really nice spots between Summer and Nattie — including a really smooth bridge spot — along with Mrs. Tyson Kidd’s takedown of Fandango, and you have a match that far far exceeded expectations. And not just because there weren’t any.

Match: +.3 | PPV: 1.3

Big E. Langston vs. Dean Ambrose(c)

for the U.S. Title

This match happened as a result of “an injury to Curtis Axel”, though, considering that the match jumped from the Kickoff show  to the main show it seems like there was a logical reason behind the switch. You’d have to think that  logical reason was “we think that Dean Ambrose is better than Curtis Axel”.  And while they may not be totally right about that, this match did exactly what it was supposed to do: put Big E. Langston — who seems to be on his way to a biblical push — in the “Authority” storyline, allowing him to logically be in inevitable Survivor Series match. This match, while not anything to write home about — other than maybe that DISGUSTING cut on Big E.’s face/Dean’s chin — did exactly what it was supposed to do, and featured one truly fantastic spot: the spear through the ropes. All in all, a perfect spotlight for a guy with as bright a future as anyone in the business.

Match: +.3 | PPV: 1.6

CM Punk vs. Ryback & Paul Heyman

(Handicap Hell in a Cell Match)

What Nick Wants to Happen: This feud to end.

Even getting what I wanted didn’t really help me much with this match. The crowd was deplorable the entire night, and this was easily the worst match from that perspective. And while this may have been one of Ryback’s best performances — in terms of fluidity of movement, telling a story and safety (see: the gentle but effective atomic drop onto the edge of the table) — CM Punk continues to look like he’s going through the motions until he could finally move on from this feud. He showed by far the most enthusiasm at the end, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. While not a bad match, let’s just say this won’t be going on either man’s Essential Viewing.

Match: +.5 | PPV: 2.1

Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans

What Nick Wants to Happen: A match that doesn’t feel like filler, people actually start to get into Los Matadores and Zeb chases El Torito around the ring while they play Benny Hill music over the PA.

A mehburger with a nice tall glass of lukewarm indifference, the WWE continues to squander perhaps the best natural talent since Brock Lesnar in Antonio Cesaro. The magic of Los Matadores entrance has wained, mostly because fans don’t really seem interested in it, which is a bummer. At least they went over?

Match: +.0 PPV: 2.1

Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. John Cena

for the World Heavyweight Championship

What Will Happen: John Cena will win, Damien Sandow will cash in and lose.

Despite these two being probably my favorite performers in the company outside of Mark Henry (and maybe Sheamus), it’s clear that John was limited here, and while that  didn’t make the match unwatchable, it was not up to what these two are both capable of.  Which seems to be the theme of the night. But, even with that, this was a match John Cena fans will love (because he overcame the odds), Alberto del Rio fans (me) will enjoy because ADR looked way-better-than-good (which sometimes a problem in matches he loses) and sets up an actually interesting story for a title that needed  it.

Match: .65 | PPV: 2.75

AJ Lee (c) vs. Brie Bella

for the Divas Championship

Best Case Scenario: AJ Lee wins clean, ends this never-ending feud so that they can finally bring up the extremely talented girls from NXT.

Brie continues  to get better and better, and it’s really great to see that even Nikki has begun to understand the difference between “performing” — playing yourself up to eleven (see: the Bellas reactions during the “pipe bombshell”) — and “being a performer”  — using your own personality to inform how your character would react in specific situations (Brie’s reaction to accidentally hitting Nikki). That this also likely ends what has been a somewhat enjoyable if needlessly long feud, allowing AJ to feud with (hopefully) the girls from NXT and Brie to feud with Nikki actually makes this as good a match as you could expect from this combination. Which is to say, a mediocre one.

Match: .3 | PPV: 3.05

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

for the WWE Championship (Hell in a Cell Match)

Worst Case Scenario: An actual screwjob.

What Will Happen: An actual screwjob. (For the fans, at least.)

An excellent, enjoyable match between the two best workers in the company right now. This feud — which, for those that complain about continuity and hot-shotting has been going on since Act III of the Team Hell No saga — continues to deliver in the ring from the beginning of the match until SOMEWHERE NEAR the end. I — and this entirely a personal preference — very much enjoy the chase they are making Daniel Bryan go through, but I totally understand why other people don’t, and I can totally see why people thought this botchy-mcbotched ending was not anyone’s idea of a good time. HAVING SAID THAT, I will be watching tomorrow to find out about the fallout from this, thought the work before the WCW-execution on what would have been a really GREAT ending was unsurprisingly amazing, and at the very least, finally gave us a champion. This could have been their best match, even the ending had been better, and while because of that it ended up being the worst out of the three, it is definitely definitely worth watching (especially before the ending).

Match: .75

Depending on how you felt about the ending of the DB/RKO match, this was a decent PPV, with better matches than Battleground, just less of them. This is something that would be a GREAT non-premium PPV once the network comes out,  but for now, this is a less than great buy.

PPV: 3.8 | Match Avg: .475 (.48 if you’re nasty)

What’s the Worst That Could Happen?: Hell in a Cell

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It’s a PPV weekend! We’ll have all your Hell in a Cell needs covered here at Juice Make Sugar. First, we ask What’s the Worst That Could Happen? in Miami on tonight, then, we’ll give you our world famous Bang for Your Buck PPV review on tomorrow morning.

To make sure you don’t miss anything, follow us (or me) on Twitter and like us on Facebook. Now that we’ve gotten the shameless plugs out of the way, let’s figure out What’s the Worst That Could Happen in Buffalo tonight:

Big E. Lanston vs. Curtis Axel (c)

for the Intercontinental Championship

(Kickoff Match)

Best Case Scenario: Big E. Langston wins the IC belt, then trades it in Destination X-style for a shot at the WWE championship: new WWE Champion Big E. Langston.

Worst Case Scenario: Curtis Axel and Big E. Langston recreate Goldberg-Lesnar match from WM XX AND Axel retains.

What Nick Wants to Happen: Big E. Langston to look every bit the top-of-the-card star he should end up being, Curtis Axel continues to prove his worth by putting over Langston proper.

What Will Happen: Big E. Langston wins, or Ryback screws him over so that Curtis can continue to accumulate losses under the golden protection of the 4th most important title being defended on this show.

AJ Lee (c) vs. Brie Bella

for the Divas Championship

Best Case Scenario: AJ Lee wins clean, ends this never-ending feud so that they can finally bring up the extremely talented girls from NXT.

Worst Case Scenario: Brie and Nikki win using twin magic after the ref is replaced by the security guard from Jimmy Kimmel Live.

What Nick Wants to Happen: AJ Lee wins.

What Will Happen: Brie Bella wins.

Cody Rhodes & Goldust (c) vs Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins vs The Usos

for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Best Case Scenario: They block out a full hour for what should unequivocally be the best match of the night, Rhodes Boys win after every single person hit their finisher in order, with Cody finishing everything off with the CrossRhodes.

Worst Case Scenario: They cancel this match.

What Nick Wants to Happen: More than 10 minutes of wrestling, the Usos to not be completely buried and the Rhodes boys to start a feud with the Wyatt Family after narrowly, but cleanly, defeating the Shield.

What Will Happen: Rhodes boys beat the Usos following a Reigns Spear to save face for The Shield, extending the feud to  Survivor Series.

CM Punk vs. Ryback & Paul Heyman

(Handicap Hell in a Cell Match)

Best Case Scenario: Paul Heyman and Ryback win, then Big E. comes out, brawling with Ryback, leading him away from the Cell as it lowers on Punk and Heyman.

Worst Case Scenario: CM Punk wins after giving Ryback and Heyman the GTS at the same time, Heyman manages to escape Cell, CM Punk Spears and then Jackhammers Ryback, immediately after starting a “Goldberg” chant.

What Nick Wants to Happen: This feud to end.

What Will Happen: This feud won’t end.

Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. John Cena

for the World Heavyweight Championship

Best Case Scenario: Alberto Del Rio manages to win after the excellent match both are capable of by getting Cena in the Cross Armbreaker. Accidentally rips off John’s arm, and while Cena has it reattached without issue, he is forced to actually stay out of action until the Royal Rumble.

Worst Case Scenario: Alberto Del Rio gets Cena in the Cross Armbreaker. Accidentally rips off John’s arm, which Cena reattaches by himself without issue, beats Del Rio with STF.

What Nick Wants to Happen: Alberto Del Rio manages to win after solid match by getting Cena in the Cross Armbreaker, accidentally rips off his arm, and while Cena has it reattached without issue, is forced to actually stay out of action until the Royal Rumble. Damien Sandow cashes in MitB briefcase.

What Will Happen: John Cena will win, Damien Sandow will cash in and lose.

Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans

Best Case Scenario: Crowd actually gives a shit, Antonio Cesaro does Giant Swing with both Matadores at same time, spins so fast he is transported to Oz. Or, a better gimmick.

Worst Case Scenario: “U! S! A!” “U! S! A!”

What Nick Wants to Happen: A match that doesn’t feel like filler, people actually start to get into Los Matadores and Zeb chases El Torito around the ring while they play Benny Hill music over the PA.

What Will Happen: Too many people get way too into the “We the People” chant, Los Matadores lose because of interference from Zeb, El Torito gets last laugh.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

(WWE Championship Hell in a Cell Match)

Best Case Scenario: A clean finish.

Worst Case Scenario: An actual screwjob.

What Nick Wants to Happen: A clean finish.

What Will Happen: An actual screwjob. (For the fans, at least.)

Headlock’d: Two Penny Opera

We look at what’s left of the Night of Champions card, do something with Ryback and Bully Ray that we aren’t entirely comfortable with, and bring back those beautiful Big Boss blues.

Let’s Lock Up!